VoML Post-film Report: Zombieland (2009)

TOP BILLED ACTORS
Jesse Eisenberg, Woody Harrelson, Emma Stone, Abigail Breslin, Amber Heard

DIRECTOR
Ruben Fleischer

3 POSITIVES

• The film begins with a sampling of the rules Jessie Eisenberg’s Columbus created in order to survive the zombie apocalypse. In fact, a few of the rules are put to the test the very first time we see him encounter zombies (and one is even added). The scene plays really well and whets the appetite for the main course.
• The actual zombies were great. I’m a big proponent of fast moving zombies over the antiquated, barely moving variety. It basically comes down to whether you subscribe to the theory that zombies are simply dead people reanimated or the more troubling theory that zombies are mindless, blood-crazed humans who were infected with a virus. I prefer the latter, because it is the more believable of the two and mindless humans run like normal humans without the distractions of everyday life. Picture Troy Polamalu running through the streets with no whistles, no penalties, and no barriers. The only issue I see is that there really couldn’t be any freak zombie athletes because the best ones would inevitably get fat. Zombie Usain Bolt probably wouldn’t know when to stop eating. He would be eating mostly skin and fat before the slower zombies joined in the feeding and his only training would be the time it took to catch the next person.
• Harrelson and Eisenberg’s chemistry was excellent. I’m a big fan of both actors on their own but they shined as a duo. One of my favorite scenes was the first time the two actors’ characters, Tallahassee (Harrelson) and Columbus, shared screen time. Columbus, clothed in khakis and button down shirt, and Tallahassee, dressed in jeans, leather jacket, and cowboy hat, engage in a tense standoff. They stood maybe 15 yards apart, shotguns pointed at one another. The former, held his with two visibly shaking hands and the latter stood stoically, holding his weapon with one extended arm. The scene deftly illustrates the chasm between their personalities. Columbus was alive thanks to his list and conservative risk assessment, and Tallahassee because of his willingness to act and fear of nothing.
  

3 NEGATIVES

• The virus appears to be transferred when humans are bitten by zombies which makes sense; viruses are often transferred through body fluids. Call it nit-picky but it just seemed that Tallahassee was a little cavalier about how he dispatched of zombies. Hitting things with blunt objects causes them to splatter. How many zombies can you kill with baseball bats before blood or saliva gets in your eyes, nose, or mouth?
• The cameo. I heard about the cameo prior to the movie but didn’t know who it was (don’t worry, I won’t tell), I just heard it was big. Yeah it’s pretty big, and pretty funny. My issue is that it felt a bit forced. It was great at first, but towards the end it was a bit excessive with the questions they asked and the references to the person’s films (there, gave you a small hint). It’s a small gripe for a plot point that proved to be important. Those scenes were a nice way to provide a safe environment to progress the relationships between the four main characters.
• I can't really explain it but I had issues with Abigail Breslin. I think the film may have been better with a different actor in there. She may be suffering from Haley Joel Osment syndrome. Either stick with romantic comedies or take a few years off and come back when you're out of your teens. Live a normal life for a while.
  

BEST PERFORMANCE
Jesse Eisenberg as Columbus

MOST UNDERRATED PERFORMANCE
The aforementioned cameo, despite the minor issues I had with how it was worked in, it really was a great performance and well done, for the most part.

HEY, IT'S THAT GUY...
Amber Heard from Pineapple Express as “406”. Emma Stone from Superbad as Wichita (very good).

REMINDED ME OF...
Shaun of the Dead, 28 Days Later

WOULD I PURCHASE IT?- Yes

WOULD I WATCH IT IF I CAME ACROSS IT ON CABLE?- Yes

I WILL GIVE IT A…

-PSon

Note on VoML Post-film Reports

So we've been talking for a long time about posting our thoughts about films we've viewed and we finally found a format that we liked. All of us are movie lovers who appreciate movies from all genres. Personally, I probably watch between 2 and 5 new films per week so I'm glad I have somewhere to post my thoughts on the films I am seeing. Please keep in mind that we are three different people so one person's view doesn't necessarily reflect the views of all three. Obviously we will tweak the reports as we think of more things we want to have in them. At this point they are kind of a work in progress.

These are not really intended to be reviews or necessarily recommendations although they may occasionally come off that way. Read what we have to say and decide if it is something you might like or if you have seen it, read to see if you had the same feelings. We tried to develop a ratings system based on something you might give somebody (kick to the face, rear slap, man-hug, etc...), in keeping with the whole Man-Love idea. I added generic ratings to the bottom of each ratings stamp so you can see where movies rate in relation to others as it is not immediately apparent in some cases. If you don't know that a Fistbump w/Explosion is better than a Respectful Finger Point, the 4 and 3.5 ratings (respectively) should effectively illustrate our thoughts. As always, if you have comments or thoughts, leave them.

Once Nationals is over, I should be posting more sports-related articles, particularly about my 6-0 Broncos.

-PSon

VoML Post-film Report: Surveillance (2008)

TOP BILLED ACTORS
Bill Pullman, Julia Ormond, Pell James, Ryan Simpkins, Michael Ironside, Kent Harper, French Stewart, Cheri Oteri, Caroline Aaron, Gill Gayle

DIRECTOR
Jennifer Chambers Lynch

3 POSITIVES

• Bill Pullman and Julia Ormond both give good performances, playing characters unlike any they've ever portrayed.
  
• Movies like these are often about the twist and in this case, I did not see it coming until it was upon me. After the revelation, there is an interesting scene that presents a theory as to why the killers do what they do.
• I’m not a fan of horror movies because frankly I’m constantly worried about seeing something I can’t unsee, but I do appreciate the thriller/horror genre where the filmmaker uses tension to scare rather than constant violence and gore. The tension was kept up fairly well for much of this film. My heart was racing, not simply because I was disgusted (as I am with most modern horror films), but because I knew something bad was going to happen. The things these travelers did to keep themselves entertained (police officer and traveler alike) while traveling the lonely stretch of road we’ve all traveled only adds to the stress as we are left to think, “what horrible thing will happen to these people?” We know who was there and who survived but what happened to everybody else and who did it?

3 NEGATIVES

• I realize we’re talking about small town, middle of nowhere cops here but how did one police station manage to go 4 for 4 on hiring dipshit deputies. I’m assuming that the highway patrol manual for any of the 50 states doesn’t recommend shooting out tires of moving vehicles, harassing drivers with firearms, or dropping “whore” and “crackhead” bombs on victims of heinous crimes. Think Super Troopers minus comedy plus sadism.
• Somebody is going to have to explain the fateful van scene to me. I would be giving up too much to really talk about it, but there are too many unbelievable and unexplainable things happening in this scene to ignore. Even after mixing in shock, the idiocy of the troopers, and the Superhuman Psycho Corollary, I’m still at a loss.
• The interview scenes were way too choppy. 3 victims are interviewed by 3 different people (or groups of people) at the same time, with a Big Brother type viewing all 3 in a room with 3 monitors. I understand the use of flashbacks to tell each person’s story but the timing is confusing. They are all being interviewed at once, but each person’s flashback starts at the beginning of their day, long before their lives intersect. When the point of view shifts from one person to the other, it actually looks like those people are just sitting in a room, waiting their turn to tell their story. There isn’t any indication of how much time has passed throughout the entire interview process. Basically, the 3 interviews were a poorly constructed front to allow each person to tell their stories. We view the same string of events from each point of view, but people change their stories to take out everything that makes them look bad. However, as viewers we see what actually happened throughout, so no real doubt is left in our mind as to the actual chain of events. We aren’t seeing each story exactly as told, we are seeing them exactly as they happen. Had it been done the other way, the tension could have been ratcheted up as there would have been more of a “everybody is a suspect” feel to it. As is, I didn’t really have that feeling.

BEST PERFORMANCE
Bill Pullman as Sam Hallaway

MOST UNDERRATED PERFORMANCE
Julia Ormond as Elizabeth Anderson

HEY, IT'S THAT GUY...
French Stewart of Third Rock from the Sun as a highway patrolman (good). Cheri Oteri from SNL as a wife/mother on a vacation from hell (distracting).

REMINDED ME OF...
Funny Games, Rashomon

WOULD I PURCHASE IT? - No

WOULD I WATCH IT IF I CAME ACROSS IT ON CABLE? - No

I will give...

-PSon

VoML Post-film Report: Observe and Report (2009)

TOP BILLED ACTORS
Seth Rogen, Ray Liotta, Michael Pena, Anna Faris, Jesse Plemons, Dan Bakkedahl, Celia Weston, John Yuen, Matt Yuen, Collette Wolfe

DIRECTOR
Jody Hill

3 POSITIVES

• The Rogen/Liotta rent-a-cop/real cop rivalry is great to watch. Rogan's turn as Ronnie Barnhardt is both hilarious and disturbing at the same time while Liotta does well stepping away from drama, into the realm of comedy. Absolutely loved the jurisdiction battle in the mall director's office.
  
• Jesse Plemons of Friday Night Lights fame (the TV show, not the movie) pretty much plays the same person as he does on the show but he manages to steal a few scenes from Pena and Rogen. Plemons plays Charles, a budding mall cop who was at first reluctant to step into Rogen's delusional world. For better or worse, he eventually proves to be a good soldier.
• Good comedies die when bad cameos rear their ugly heads. This film went for quality over quantity. The always good Danny McBride is brilliant as a drug dealer who catches Ronnie in the wrong part of town and Aziz Ansari kills as a mall kiosk rep with a restraining order out on Ronnie. The "fuck you" give and take reminded me of Andy Samberg and Jorma Taccone's "cool beans" riff in Hot Rod.
  

3 NEGATIVES

• The absence of any kind of consequence for one's actions is deafening. Ronnie assaults a shop owner, a group of teenage skateboarders, and 10-20 cops with little to no consequence while a portly man in a trench coat shows his goods (questionable usage in this case) to mall goers and is taken care of with extreme prejudice.
• I couldn't decide whether or not Ronnie's mother (played by Celia Weston) was supposed to be funny or not. I suspect she was. I probably laughed at the beginning of the film but became more and more depressed with every minute of screen time she garnered. Drunk characters can certainly make for easy laughs but an alcoholic mother to a bipolar son with serious delusions of grandeur does a lot to erase smiles.
• I understand Anna Faris' act and it was good in Scary Movie but spoof comedy Anna Faris doesn't seem any different than romantic comedy Anna Faris which isn't any different than black comedy Anna Faris. They are all incredibly over the top. Isn't there something wrong with that?
  

BEST PERFORMANCE
Seth Rogen as Ronnie Barnhardt

MOST UNDERRATED PERFORMANCE
Ray Liotta as Detective Harrison, the officer assigned to bring down the serial flasher.

HEY, IT'S THAT GUY...
The previously mentioned Danny McBride (Tropic Thunder, Foot Fist Way, Eastbound and Down), Jesse Plemons (Friday Night Lights) and Aziz Ansari (Parks and Recreation)

REMINDED ME OF...
Punch Drunk Love, Taxi Driver, Saving Silverman, Mallrats...

WOULD I PURCHASE IT? - No

WOULD I WATCH IT IF I CAME ACROSS IT ON CABLE? - Yes

I WILL GIVE IT A...

-PSon

Monday Morning Links and Videos

It's been awhile since I've posted but unfortunately it's that time of year when my team is gearing up for a run at a national title. An exciting but hectic time. It's unfortunate that I haven't talked about the Rockies run to the playoffs and the Broncos miracle start but maybe I'll find time if the Broncos play well in San Diego tonight. For this post I've decided to repost a couple of things that I've run across recently. Enjoy.

RamFar alerted me to this column by Malcolm Gladwell. I would like to urge you to take the time to read this. It's a great angle and the recent discoveries are scary for both football players and fans alike.

If you haven't heard any of the DJ Porter remixes on Youtube, you have been missing out. Here's a few of the best:

Press Hop



Slap Chop Rap



Youtube Music Is



SNL videos:

JT brings it on down to Plasticville



Like A Boss



Motherlover




People Getting Punched Before Eating - This is probably more funny than is should be.



Deuce, I said I would post this a while back. Here it is:



Hope I've helped you waste some time.

-PSon