VoML Post-film Report: Surveillance (2008)

TOP BILLED ACTORS
Bill Pullman, Julia Ormond, Pell James, Ryan Simpkins, Michael Ironside, Kent Harper, French Stewart, Cheri Oteri, Caroline Aaron, Gill Gayle

DIRECTOR
Jennifer Chambers Lynch

3 POSITIVES

• Bill Pullman and Julia Ormond both give good performances, playing characters unlike any they've ever portrayed.
  
• Movies like these are often about the twist and in this case, I did not see it coming until it was upon me. After the revelation, there is an interesting scene that presents a theory as to why the killers do what they do.
• I’m not a fan of horror movies because frankly I’m constantly worried about seeing something I can’t unsee, but I do appreciate the thriller/horror genre where the filmmaker uses tension to scare rather than constant violence and gore. The tension was kept up fairly well for much of this film. My heart was racing, not simply because I was disgusted (as I am with most modern horror films), but because I knew something bad was going to happen. The things these travelers did to keep themselves entertained (police officer and traveler alike) while traveling the lonely stretch of road we’ve all traveled only adds to the stress as we are left to think, “what horrible thing will happen to these people?” We know who was there and who survived but what happened to everybody else and who did it?

3 NEGATIVES

• I realize we’re talking about small town, middle of nowhere cops here but how did one police station manage to go 4 for 4 on hiring dipshit deputies. I’m assuming that the highway patrol manual for any of the 50 states doesn’t recommend shooting out tires of moving vehicles, harassing drivers with firearms, or dropping “whore” and “crackhead” bombs on victims of heinous crimes. Think Super Troopers minus comedy plus sadism.
• Somebody is going to have to explain the fateful van scene to me. I would be giving up too much to really talk about it, but there are too many unbelievable and unexplainable things happening in this scene to ignore. Even after mixing in shock, the idiocy of the troopers, and the Superhuman Psycho Corollary, I’m still at a loss.
• The interview scenes were way too choppy. 3 victims are interviewed by 3 different people (or groups of people) at the same time, with a Big Brother type viewing all 3 in a room with 3 monitors. I understand the use of flashbacks to tell each person’s story but the timing is confusing. They are all being interviewed at once, but each person’s flashback starts at the beginning of their day, long before their lives intersect. When the point of view shifts from one person to the other, it actually looks like those people are just sitting in a room, waiting their turn to tell their story. There isn’t any indication of how much time has passed throughout the entire interview process. Basically, the 3 interviews were a poorly constructed front to allow each person to tell their stories. We view the same string of events from each point of view, but people change their stories to take out everything that makes them look bad. However, as viewers we see what actually happened throughout, so no real doubt is left in our mind as to the actual chain of events. We aren’t seeing each story exactly as told, we are seeing them exactly as they happen. Had it been done the other way, the tension could have been ratcheted up as there would have been more of a “everybody is a suspect” feel to it. As is, I didn’t really have that feeling.

BEST PERFORMANCE
Bill Pullman as Sam Hallaway

MOST UNDERRATED PERFORMANCE
Julia Ormond as Elizabeth Anderson

HEY, IT'S THAT GUY...
French Stewart of Third Rock from the Sun as a highway patrolman (good). Cheri Oteri from SNL as a wife/mother on a vacation from hell (distracting).

REMINDED ME OF...
Funny Games, Rashomon

WOULD I PURCHASE IT? - No

WOULD I WATCH IT IF I CAME ACROSS IT ON CABLE? - No

I will give...

-PSon

VoML Post-film Report: Observe and Report (2009)

TOP BILLED ACTORS
Seth Rogen, Ray Liotta, Michael Pena, Anna Faris, Jesse Plemons, Dan Bakkedahl, Celia Weston, John Yuen, Matt Yuen, Collette Wolfe

DIRECTOR
Jody Hill

3 POSITIVES

• The Rogen/Liotta rent-a-cop/real cop rivalry is great to watch. Rogan's turn as Ronnie Barnhardt is both hilarious and disturbing at the same time while Liotta does well stepping away from drama, into the realm of comedy. Absolutely loved the jurisdiction battle in the mall director's office.
  
• Jesse Plemons of Friday Night Lights fame (the TV show, not the movie) pretty much plays the same person as he does on the show but he manages to steal a few scenes from Pena and Rogen. Plemons plays Charles, a budding mall cop who was at first reluctant to step into Rogen's delusional world. For better or worse, he eventually proves to be a good soldier.
• Good comedies die when bad cameos rear their ugly heads. This film went for quality over quantity. The always good Danny McBride is brilliant as a drug dealer who catches Ronnie in the wrong part of town and Aziz Ansari kills as a mall kiosk rep with a restraining order out on Ronnie. The "fuck you" give and take reminded me of Andy Samberg and Jorma Taccone's "cool beans" riff in Hot Rod.
  

3 NEGATIVES

• The absence of any kind of consequence for one's actions is deafening. Ronnie assaults a shop owner, a group of teenage skateboarders, and 10-20 cops with little to no consequence while a portly man in a trench coat shows his goods (questionable usage in this case) to mall goers and is taken care of with extreme prejudice.
• I couldn't decide whether or not Ronnie's mother (played by Celia Weston) was supposed to be funny or not. I suspect she was. I probably laughed at the beginning of the film but became more and more depressed with every minute of screen time she garnered. Drunk characters can certainly make for easy laughs but an alcoholic mother to a bipolar son with serious delusions of grandeur does a lot to erase smiles.
• I understand Anna Faris' act and it was good in Scary Movie but spoof comedy Anna Faris doesn't seem any different than romantic comedy Anna Faris which isn't any different than black comedy Anna Faris. They are all incredibly over the top. Isn't there something wrong with that?
  

BEST PERFORMANCE
Seth Rogen as Ronnie Barnhardt

MOST UNDERRATED PERFORMANCE
Ray Liotta as Detective Harrison, the officer assigned to bring down the serial flasher.

HEY, IT'S THAT GUY...
The previously mentioned Danny McBride (Tropic Thunder, Foot Fist Way, Eastbound and Down), Jesse Plemons (Friday Night Lights) and Aziz Ansari (Parks and Recreation)

REMINDED ME OF...
Punch Drunk Love, Taxi Driver, Saving Silverman, Mallrats...

WOULD I PURCHASE IT? - No

WOULD I WATCH IT IF I CAME ACROSS IT ON CABLE? - Yes

I WILL GIVE IT A...

-PSon

Monday Morning Links and Videos

It's been awhile since I've posted but unfortunately it's that time of year when my team is gearing up for a run at a national title. An exciting but hectic time. It's unfortunate that I haven't talked about the Rockies run to the playoffs and the Broncos miracle start but maybe I'll find time if the Broncos play well in San Diego tonight. For this post I've decided to repost a couple of things that I've run across recently. Enjoy.

RamFar alerted me to this column by Malcolm Gladwell. I would like to urge you to take the time to read this. It's a great angle and the recent discoveries are scary for both football players and fans alike.

If you haven't heard any of the DJ Porter remixes on Youtube, you have been missing out. Here's a few of the best:

Press Hop



Slap Chop Rap



Youtube Music Is



SNL videos:

JT brings it on down to Plasticville



Like A Boss



Motherlover




People Getting Punched Before Eating - This is probably more funny than is should be.



Deuce, I said I would post this a while back. Here it is:



Hope I've helped you waste some time.

-PSon

The Amazing Colorado Rockies

Ryan freaking Spilborghs. I flipped on the TV last night to watch Jason Marquis take on the Giants and former pitching phenom, Barry Zito. I planned on listening while I was cooking dinner, knowing that I could sit down and enjoy the last half with a plate of hot food in front of me. The game started at 7 MT, I had no idea that I would still be watching close to 5 hours later.

It’s not that I haven’t watched long games before. There are at least 2 games every year that stretch long into the night, games where managers are forced to dig deep into their bag of tricks, hoping to pull out a win. Yeah it’s just one win in a 162 game season, but games like this can mean a lot to a team. Baseball is a cerebral sport. Much like a game of Chutes and Ladders, one late August game can damage a team’s psyche, sending them down a slide and out of the playoff race or it can galvanize them at the core, providing the strong foundation necessary to climb their way into the playoffs and beyond.

That is what happened 2 years ago when the Rockies earned their first World Series berth. The Rockies won 13 of 14 games to earn a spot in the one game playoff against San Diego. The rest is history. There isn't a big difference between this year's team and the 2007 version. Some of the players are different: Barmes replaced Matsui, Ianetta replaced Torrealba (still on the Rockies but the backup), Stewart replaced Atkins, Street replaced Fuentes, and MVP runner up Holliday and Taveras have been replaced by a platoon of young outfielders (Spilly, Smith, Fowler, and Gonzalez). The ingredients may be different but the recipe is the same: quality pitching, clutch hitting, and a group of players that go to war for each other every night. The Rockies put all of those on display last night.

Marquis started the night off by giving up a base hit to Eugenio Velez who promptly stole 2^nd base, was sacrificed to 3^rd, and scored on a Pablo Sandoval sacrifice fly. He wouldn’t give up another run in 8 innings and over 120 pitches. Zito was equally impressive giving up 1 unearned run. As the game wore on, it started to look like 9 innings might not be enough. Managers were doing anything they could to squeeze out a run. Jim Tracy sent Carlos Gonzalez to pinch run for one of his best hitters, Todd Helton, in the bottom of the 10^th. Gonzalez has not been available for a few days because he injured his hand in an apparent knife-juggling accident at his home. But duty called for one of the fastest runners on the team, CarGo could play as long as he didn’t have to swing a bat. Seth Smith and Quintanilla were sent in as pinch hitters and Hawpe was taken out in a double switch. Many of the relief pitchers for both teams had already appeared in the game, including the normal late inning guys. Basically both teams were playing with half a deck; this game would be decided by the few who were left.

Disaster struck in the top of the 14^th. Adam Eaton retired the first batter before Edgar Renteria laced a pitch into the right field corner that netted a triple. When the dust finally cleared, the Giants were up 4-1 with only 3 outs to put the Rockies away. The Rockies needed to score at least 3 runs, Carlos Gonzalez (who could not swing a bat) was slated to bat 3^rd in the inning and Adam Eaton (the pitcher) was up 5^th. They had one batter remaining on their bench, the backup catcher Chris Ianetta, which meant they could not pinch hit for both Gonzalez and Eaton. Dexter Fowler led off the inning and immediately fouled a pitch off his knee. He fell to the ground in extreme agony. The Rockies could not afford to take Fowler out so he got up and drew a walk to lead off the inning, hobbling to 1^st base in obvious pain (note: Fowler was placed on the 15 day DL today with a knee injury). After Barmes was retired, Gonzalez’ spot came up. Tracy decided to send Ianetta in to hit for him. Gonzo couldn’t swing a bat and they could not afford to have him bunt again (as he did earlier in the game) because advancing the runner at 1^st did them no good (being down 3 runs) and Fowler may not have beaten a throw to 2^nd anyway. Ianetta singled up the middle, advancing Fowler to second. Next up was Tulo. With the pitcher batting next and the Rockies having no option to pinch hit for him, the Giants pitched around Tulo and Eaton came to the plate. Just before Eaton went out to the on-deck circle, Tracy was shown talking to him. It was later learned that Tracy basically told Eaton that if Tulo walked, under no circumstances should Eaton take the bat off his shoulder. If he had to take the strike out then so be it but this game would not end on a double play by Eaton with the bases loaded and Ryan Spilborghs batting next. Don’t let anybody tell you that Adam Eaton can’t follow directions. He earned a 5 pitch walk and did not swing the bat once; the walk earned him an RBI, 4-2 Giants.

You may know what happened next, Spilly hammered a pitch to right-center that sailed over the wall for a walk off grand slam (the first in Rockies history). Spilly cleared the bases faster than I have ever seen anybody, I joked that Usain Bolt could not have beaten him around the bags. He later explained that he couldn’t wait to get to his teammates. He came around 3^rd base, threw his helmet to the infield and ran straight into a wall of teammates. The group soon morphed into a mosh pit, it’s a wonder nobody was injured in the celebration. I stayed up to watch the replays and Jim Tracy’s press conference. He looked like a proud papa, praising his players for their heart. A reporter asked what he planned on doing in the field had the Rockies merely tied the game. Tracy responded, "you really don't want to know." It really was an amazing win. Though I thought it improbable, I knew it could happen because I have seen it before with a similar group. That group won the National League pennant.

-JA

NFL players unhappy with Custom Jersey option on NFL.com

-PSon

Where Are They Now? - Will Hunting

The last time we saw Will Hunting, he was traveling west in his Chevy Nova, on a mission to "see about a girl". But what happened to the prodigious Bostonian when the cameras turned off? Thankfully you no longer have to wait for the answer.

Will's vehicle made it as far as Utah. Billy and Chuckie did their best to fix up the clunker but alas, the dry heat of the Utah desert proved too much for the old heap. Undaunted, Will hitched a ride into Las Vegas with old poker pro, Deuce MacJohnson. During the drive, Will was regaled with tales of life in the poker world and MacJohnson soon made Will his protege. Hunting appreciated the calculated aggression and chaotic lifestyle of a poker pro. Things were good for a while, but Will began to hate the things he used to love about the game. He grew tired of being drawn out on high percentage hands and hated losing to less talented people. Luck was not exactly a good friend of his and it seemed to stab him the back at every turn.

Hunting began to lash out at fellow poker players and soon became a pariah. While he certainly did not invent the art of belittling opponents, Will was a newcomer and had yet to pay his dues. Will was no longer welcomed to attend games with MacJohnson and he decided he had enough. Early one morning, Will packed up his belongings and hopped on the first bus out of Vegas; Denver was the destination. Will boarded another bus to his final stop, Silverthorne, a small town in the heart of Colorado ski country. Longing for the anonymity of his former life, Will took a menial job at a fast food restaurant right off the interstate, a job he is still working to this day. Will was last seen serving fries to this guy and his kids on their way to a ski trip.


-PSon

G.I.-Joe #1 at the box office, taps into key demographics

Demographics tapped:

Fans of poor acting; stupid faces.

Huge guys with big fucking guns.

Robots.

Fans of stupid jokes; unintentional comedy.

Sadists.

Assholes with nuts hanging from their truck.

-PSon