(Unlike some of the other posters here, I have not forgotten that there are other sports going on now besides the Olympics)
Dear Juan Uribe,
In your reasonably long tenure with the White Sox, I feel like you've never quite gotten your due. You've been saddled with some unfortunate nickames: Submariner, El Profundo. Management has done everything they can to get rid of you short of putting a FREE sign on you and leaving you on the front yard. Sox fans... sorta hate you... sorry man, but it's largely true.
And through it all you've persevered. You've done everything asked of you, never complained, and goddamn if you've never given it your all every second you're on the field. And I'm here to tell you, I think you're pretty awesome. You're the Anti-Nick Punto. A veteran utility man that actually brings value to the table.
But why the hate? I think it's your hitting. I've often wondered whether or not you close your eyes at the plate and just swing as hard as you can. At every pitch. Sure, it leads to some exciting results, you've hit over 20 homeruns and driven in 70 runs in 3 seasons. That's damn good for a SS hitting 7th or lower. But it's average and your near chronic disability when taking walks. It leads to long, painful slumps.
What really sets you apart is your fielding. You're an amazing fielder. You were well above average in range at SS. And that arm. That cannon arm. I've never regular seen a SS backhand a ball in the hole then rifle a throw to first so consistently. At 2nd you were great, too good. I often felt bad for Paulie having to try and catch those missles fired from about 20 feet away.
But what has really been amazing is your play the last few weeks. Relegated to a super-sub role when we picked up O-Cab, you waited patiently on the bench, not unlike the fat kid in little league, just waiting for his shot. Well your shot came when Joe Crede's faulty back crapped out for the millionth time. We were like "shit, who plays third." We tried to bring up that hot-shot Jesus-lover Josh Fields, but damn if his whiny ass didn't shit the bed. So who steps up to play Gold Glove caliber defense at the hot corner? My boy Juan Uribe. You've been amazing lately. Saving runs and saving games with just stellar defense. Your cannon arm finally gets to shine. You've been playing great, and I want to thank you.
Plus, you have one of my top two White Sox moments ever.* Game 4 of the World Series,
bottom of the 9th, up by one run. Some Astro douche hits a short fly sailing out of bounds, Joe "Gold Glove" Crede can't reach it, but you, my portly hispanic dynamo, come flying out of nowhere diving into the stands to make an amazing play. AMAZING. If that pretty-boy douche Jeter had done that it would have been regarded as the best play in World Series history. But you, workman-like as ever, saw a job that had to get done. And did it.**
So for all of that. I commend you Juan Uribe. Sure, sometimes you can't hit for a lick. But your presence on the field is a salve to defensive concerns to all our pitchers, and White Sox fans everywhere.
-bb13
ps While writing this, Mr Uribe picked up the last of back-to-back-to-back-to-back homeruns (that's 4) versus the obnoxious, annoying Royals.
* #1 is definitely bringing El Duque in with the bases loaded and no outs versus the Red Sox. Then El Duque escapes unscathed... somehow. That's probably the best moment in White Sox history.
** I often think about if that play had been reversed, and an Astro fielder had to go into the crowd for an out during the World Series at U.S. Cellular. What would happen? Would it be the first instance of an MLB player getting shived on the field of play? We may never know.
Dear Nick Punto,
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