Thursday, April 16, 2009

John Madden retires from teaching basic math to morons

NFL announcer John Madden retired today and morons across the country are up in arms about the prospect of watching NFL games "without a hand to hold."
"Dagumit, the NFL without Madden is like eatin' hog but no taters. How should I know whens the right time to punt and if a touchdown is more points 'n a field goal?"
More casual fans will find it hard to go about watching football without the banal dialogue they have been accustomed to.
"It was like watching games with grandpa. He talked constantly and never explained anything I didn't already know, but something about him made me feel warm inside."
There have been many theories as to why a guy in the prime of his career would just quit. Many have speculated that his love of Brett Favre caused him to retire. Brett was gone, and his heart just wasn't in it anymore. Here's a tribute to the intense connection these two titans of the turf have shared.



-PSon

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