Yankee reliever Nick Swisher shamed by recent spitball allegations

A local Tampa Bay newspaper broke a story this morning that Yankee first baseman and part time reliever, Nick Swisher, used a "lubricating agent" during his masterful 1 inning performance against the Tampa Bay Rays. Swisher was dazzling in the only appearance of his career; seamlessly mixing 60mph heaters with 58mph changeups. Tampa outfielder Pat Burrell remarked, "His throwing motion threw everybody off. None of us have seen a guy throw like that since Smalls from The Sandlot."

During Swisher's outing, which left him with a Major League leading ERA of 0.00 (minimum 1 inning pitched), Swish struck out Tampa pinch hitter/beefcake Gabe Kapler. Swisher became a New York hero but that all may change. After the 3rd strike, Swisher was seen "violently" motioning for the ball because he wanted to keep it but The Vagaries of Man-Love put together a sketch of what the ball most likely looked like (left, inset). The photo also shows an obvious bulge in Swisher's cheek; the possible source of the lubricant. Kapler (pictured right) was incensed upon hearing the aforementioned allegations and promised to "pepper his sauce" the next time he sees him.

This conspiracy has sparked interest with some Hollywood heavyhitters. Jerry Bruckheimer is rumored to have writers working on a script for the tentatively titled "Careful What You Swish For" starring Turtle from Entourage as Swisher, Channing Tatum as Kapler, and Rosario Dawson as A-Rod.

-PSon