NBA GMs look to cut fat; decide to cut white guys.

Due to unfavorable product reviews and a slow economy, white guys will be phased out of the NBA within the next 5 years. It is being reported that the final straw came during NBA All-Star Weekend when Jason "The Last of the Caucasians" Kapono was defeated in the final round of the 3 point shootout.

Boston Celtics GM Danny Ainge said, "We just can't see a reason to pay these guys anymore. There is no market for white, American basketball players. Why would any businessman keep rolling out an inferior product just to sit on store shelves and collect dust? With technology ever increasing, we are now able to play with the same 7 man rotation the entire season." Ainge continued, "Look this ain't college. If it were, we could afford to trot these t-shirt wearing stiffs out on the court in the last minute of a blowout and let them hoist up a couple of threes. The NBA is a man's game, they're not playing for room, board, and pitty cheers. These guys make real money to wave a towel around and warm chairs."

When asked what he thought about Ainge's comments, Phoenix Suns GM Steve Kerr said, "I'm just glad I played when I did. Nowadays you don't have to keep a guy on your roster who is limited to shooting threes and setting screens. These days there are players who can do all that and have some semblance of athletic ability. This isn't charity, it's the NBA. Instead of drafting a 7-foot Frankenstein with a buzz cut and 2 inch vertical, we can draft 19-year old Europeans and let them develop overseas. Once they arrive we pay them less, get twice the results, and save on soap and water."

This is grim news for white NBAers but not all is lost. There are many available occupations in the world of sports that match their skillsets including but not limited to: professional bowler, hockey player, lacrosse player, MMA fighter, bullpen catcher, and NFL punter/placekicker. Former stiff Greg Ostertag was reached for comment and said the future isn't so bad. "Most of these guys have a Big Ten or Big 12 degree to fall back on and they won't have to live with the nightly horror of taking balls to the face."

-PSon

Great Athletes of the Silver Screen: "Irish" Terry Conklin

Irish Terry Conklin: I'm not Irish.

Sol: It's boxing. It just means you're white.

____________________

ATHLETE: "IRISH" TERRY CONKLIN

ACTOR: PETER BERG

MOVIE: THE GREAT WHITE HYPE

DOMINANT SPORT: FEIGNING HE'S A GOOD BOXER, HEAD BANGING, WORKING THE BAG, SPOUTING NONSENSE

LOVE INTEREST: LEGIONS OF GROUPIES, THE OVERHAND RIGHT

ENEMY: JAMES "THE GRIM REAPER" ROPER, HYPE, HOMELESSNESS

MISSION: "ERADICATE THE HOMELESSNESS SITUATIONS AND ALSO THE POVERTY SITUATIONS IN AMERICA, AS WELL AS THE UNITED STATES, FOREVER.", ROCK-N-ROLL

REAL-LIFE COUNTERPART: MICHAEL RAPAPORT

This 1996 film has been one of my favorites since I watched it in high school. It's not that it is a great film or because it was especially well done, but the movie is full of great one-liners and caricatures. In fact, after watching it again I wasn't even sure Conklin was the best character in the film. James Roper (Damon Wayans) and Hassan El Ruk'n (Jamie Foxx) both had their share of great quotes and memorable scenes but Berg's Conklin was brilliant.

The film starts with James "The Grim Reaper" Roper dismantling and eventually knocking out his 38th opponent. The only true challenger to Roper's throne, Marvin Shabazz (Michael Jace), spends the film being perpetually denied his rightful title shot by the scheming Reverend Sultan (Samuel L. Jackson). The source of Sultan's power lies in his inner circle, a mix of shrewd characters who each bring their own special talent. Sultan's only real allegiance is to power and money. He contests that people don't want to see a black heavyweight beat up another black heavyweight. Black plus white equals green.

When we first see "Irish" Terry Conklin, he's fronting a metal band called "Massive Head Wound." The back story is that he is the only man to ever beat Roper, he knocked Roper out as an amateur. His only real goals are to eradicate the "homelessness situations" in America and tend to his ever present flock of lady friends. In contrast, Shabazz is just "tired of watching him (Roper) drive around in 8 Rolls Royces" while he's driving around in a Merlot Brough-am. The number one contender certainly deserves at the very least a gold Brough-am, and a title shot. Alas, Sultan uses his connections to have Conklin ranked in the top ten in order to set the match up.

Roper quickly sets out to whip himself into the worst shape possible. He spends the majority of the film eating ice cream, chasing ice cream trucks, smoking, and watching soap operas. It would be easy to think that he's just a lazy champion, I would contest that he's much more complex. He wants to embarrass Conklin badly. By being as ill-prepared as he can be, he's giving himself a degree of difficulty and also showing people that he can beat Conklin with a 30 lb weight strapped to his stomach. He's also not interested in speaking about his philanthropic acts, a long way from Conklin's need to publicize every good deed he does. Roper succeeds in getting off a number of epic blasts on both Conklin, Shabazz, and even himself.

"Man, I could beat Conklin and my meat at the same time."
"Hey, we ain't duckin' you man. You're just so black we can't find you."
"Oh, I'm in shape. I'm round."

I won't give up the ending as I suppose at least one person may see this movie after reading this but I will give you 5 reasons to see the film:

1. Conklin's goofy monologues.
2. Any scene involving El Ruk'n.
3. Roper's endless one-liners.
4. The secondary characters including Conklin's racist trainer Johnny Windsor (John Rhys-Davies), Jeff Goldblum as a long-winded documentarian, and Jon Lovitz as a disgraced publicist.
5. Only in this film can a fighter with no previous bouts be ranked in the top 10. The movie does serve as a hyperbolous look at what professional boxing has become, a business masquerading as a sport. Anything is more believable than Wayans and Berg playing heavyweight fighters.
   

____________________

Irish Terry Conklin: Cleveland's a real city with real people who aren't concerned with bourgeois attitudes, concerned with sexism, racism, religiousism or any of the other kind of "isms" that Vegas is about. Las Vegas is one of the most exploitive places I've ever seen in my life, particularly exploitive towards women. I've never been to a city more exploitive towards women. It makes me sick, and I can't wait to go home. [Snorts, Strums guitar]

Interviewer: But, wasn't that you on the cover of Playboy magazine?

Irish Terry Conklin: What's that? ---- Yeah that was me on the cover of Playboy magazine, but let me say two things. One, I hated it; and two, that's not what I'm about.

-PSon

Have I fallen in the Rabbit Hole?

A-rod held a press conference.
A-rod held a press conference.

A-rod admitted he cheated.
A-rod admitted he cheated.

No one believes A-rod.
No one believes A-rod.

Is every news source recycling their old material like MJF getting the same exact steal 6 times in Teen Wolf?

Adam Morrison forced to go seat-to-seat, notify fans he's a sex offender

-PSon

Stephen Hawking unmasked as mastermind behind sinister plot to destroy Major League Baseball

In a plot seemingly taken from an episode of Scooby Doo, authorities have apprehended theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking following his latest attempt to besmirch Major League Baseball. Hawking was caught after a cryptic packing slip arrived on the desk of ESPN columnist and resident baseball geek, Tim Kurkjian. The slip came from the Bay Area Laboratory Co-operative (BALCO) a San Francisco based "sports supplement" company. BALCO has been all over the news for years, we know they shipped steroids to athletes however only the dumbest of the dumb had steroids shipped directly to their house. The addressee on this slip caused Kurkjian to recoil in horror and spray Green Tea all over his desk... it was Derek Jeter.

Even the smartest of criminals eventually get caught. Some just want that last big heist before they retire, others can't stop because they live for that rush of adrenaline, and then there are the few that actually want to get caught. Being infamous is more important than being free to some. Hawking proved to be in the latter when he tried to take down America's sweetheart. Kurkjian promptly alerted authorities that some sick individual was trying to frame Jeter. It didn't take long before authorities pulled that night's surveillance tapes from ESPN headquarters and found MLB commissioner Bud Selig sneaking into Kurkjian's office. Selig was detained at Bradley International Airport in Bristol while trying to board a plane to Milwaukee. Later that night, detectives would uncover a horrifying tale full of intrigue, jealousy, and vengeance.

Bud Selig came onto the baseball scene in 1970 when he purchased the Seattle Pilots franchise and inexplicably moved them to Milwaukee, the team name was later changed to the Brewers. Selig bided his time until 1992 when he became acting commissioner of MLB. It was widely assumed that Selig amassed his fortune and worked his way from minority owner of the Milwaukee Braves to owner of the Milwaukee Brewers to Commissioner of Major League Baseball with old fashioned hard work and a lot of elbow grease. The truth? Wormholes, time travel, and time manipulation.

Stephen Hawking spent much of his life developing his theories on time travel but this was all just a means to an end for Hawking, in this case the "end" refers to his need to destroy Major League Baseball. In his early 20s, Hawking started to develop amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), the disease that would cost him almost all neuromuscular control. ALS is most commonly known as Lou Gehrig's disease. This fact haunted Hawking for many years as despite his many years of groundbreaking research in various scientific fields, Hawking felt he was publicly defined by his debilitating disease rather than his life's work. Those thoughts morphed into an intense jealousy of Gehrig who he believed unworthy to be recognized as the face of ALS as his contribution to society was much greater.

Hawking waited for years, refining his theories on time travel until scientists developed a cure for ALS. Hawking slowly gained control of his bodily functions to the point where he could more efficiently work on his research. Then one day, an amazing breakthrough led to the world's first time manipulation device. Hawking's plan was set in motion. He started by purchasing a sports almanac and traveling back to 1982. Hawking needed a new identity and chose the name Bud Selig. He lived in Las Vegas long enough to make a fortune in sports betting. In an attempt to stay under the radar, he moved to Milwaukee, purchased a team and moved them there.

During Selig's interrogation, he listed a number of negative events he was personally responsible for, here are a few of the most sensational:

• During the 1989 season, Selig froze time just before Jose Canseco gave Mark McGwire a post-shower ass slap. He placed a syringe in Canseco's hand who continued to plunge it into McGwire's rear. McGwire was incensed until he blasted three home runs the next day with one coming on a check swing. The rest is history.
• During the 2000 World Series, while Roger Clemens attempted a put-out at 1st base, Selig froze time and placed the end of a sawed off bat in Clemens' hand and positioned him towards Mike Piazza. Clemens fired the bat at Piazza and America caught a glimpse of 'roid rage.
  
• Nobody knows that the Chicago Cubs won the 2003 World Series because soon after Selig got a taste of Cub Fan's front running attitude, he went back to the NLCS and positioned Steve Bartman's glove above Moises Alou's, just as Alou was about to make a pivotal put-out. Selig then lifted Alex Gonzalez' glove as he was about to cleanly field a ground ball in the same inning. The Cubs self-destructed and Cub fan went home content with the knowledge that some things never change.
• In 2007, Selig planted a syringe and bloody tissue in Brian McNamee's doublewide with a sticky note that simply said, "Roger Clemens DNA ;)."
• In 2008, Selig destroys his own credibility by threatening to suspend Alex Rodriguez for admitting steroid use on a survey test he took 5 years ago that he was promised (by MLB) would be confidential. He was 1 of 104 people who failed the test yet none of the other 103 people have been named and they are not in danger of being suspended.
  

As he was taken away by officers, Selig/Hawking remarked, "I would have gotten away with it, if it wasn't for that meddling Kurkjian."

-PSon

MLB Bombshell: 100% of fat players use performance inhibiting substances

Early this morning Major League Baseball released the Winchell Report, a list of players confirmed to have taken performance inhibiting substances. The list may come as a shock to some as former All-Stars and future Hall of Famers are included on this list. The prevailing opinion with the public is one of mistrust. Many of these players were fan favorites, gritty guys who were perceived as players that achieved a lot in spite of their physical deformities. This list raises doubt in some minds. I spoke to a Philadelphia resident who preferred to remain anonymous, "Krukie was my guy you know. He was a big guy who just saw the ball and raked in the ribbies, I mean... he was one of us. Now I see this list and his name is on it and I think, you know, I bust my tail everyday to make a living and this guy has a gift like that but can't lay off the cheese steaks. It hurts man, he could have been the greatest." John Kruk, one of the players named sat down with Peter Gammons on the set of Baseball Tonight. Here's a little bit of what he had to say:

When I arrived in Philly in 1989, I felt an enormous amount of pressure. I felt like I had all the weight of the world on top of me, and I needed to perform, and perform at a high level every day.

Back then, it was a different culture. It was very loose. Guys were hanging out at the Taco Bell everyday after training. I was young. I was stupid. I was naive. I thought, there's no way this could hurt me. A Nacho Bell Grande here and there can't hurt. And I wanted to prove to everyone that, you know, I could do a keg-stand or two and it wouldn't hurt my play. You know, for that I'm very sorry and deeply regretful.

Gammons also asked Kruk what kind of substances he was taking.

Peter, that's the thing. Again, it was such a loosey-goosey era. You don't see the clubhouse spreads you see today. We were on our own to find food and guys fell into this trap of, you know, getting any kind of food that was fast and cheap. I'm guilty for a lot of things. I'm guilty for being negligent, naive, not asking all the right questions. And to be quite honest, I don't know exactly what I was eating.

Other notable players on the list are Tony Gwynn, Joba Chamberlain, Cecil Fielder, Prince Fielder, Fernando Valenzuela, David Wells, and half the catchers in the player database.

-PSon

Alex Rodriguez releases hypothetical book, "If I Took Steroids, This Is How I Did It"

Excerpt from the novel: "I thought to myself, why not? I mean what did I have to lose? All around me people were doing it and I could no longer stand being bullied by my teammates with taunts of Gay-rod and A-Fraud. My psychiatrist had me read a couple of self-help books and I took a few self-defense classes but none of it was working. I was getting stuffed in lockers on a daily basis. Half the time I wasn't eating lunch because Tex was stealing my per diem. On days when I brought my own lunch, Carl Everett asked for my fruit cocktail and I would be lucky if Juan-Gon didn't dump my chocolate milk on my head. The kicker was when I saw Jeter killing it in New York and realized how much I envied him, not just because he was loved by fans in every city but mostly because he was blessed with incredibly perky breasts. I wanted that too, I wanted exactly what he had."

-PSon

Breaking News: Ben Roethlisberger played Super Bowl with 6 gunshot wounds, perforated colon, compound fracture.

Breaking News: Fitz Under Fire

Larry Fitzgerald had no comment on Monday after this photo surfaced of his alleged use of performance-enhancing equipment. The NFL has yet to take a stance as "Wings of an Angel" are not banned. Fitzgerald's teammate Anquan Boldin remarked, "The NFL allows Ocho Cinco to bring his massive ego on the field every week, I don't see why Fitz should have to hide his God-given gift."

-PSon

Barry Bonds negotiating 15-30 year deal with Lompoc

-PSon

Anthony Carter saves fat guys $0.77 with late jumper

Anthony Carter put his brass balls on display by hitting a clutch shot with just 8 seconds remaining in Tuesday night's win over the San Antonio Spurs. In what was probably the biggest shot of his career, he squared up the 6 footer and hit nothing but 2 sides of the rim and the bottom of the net. The Nuggets were up by 6 at the time and the shot meant nothing to the outcome of the game but Taco Bell will sell 3 tacos for $1 every time the Nuggets score 103 points during this season. You could practically hear recliner's tipping over all over the greater-Denver area as slightly and morbidly obese people alike scrambled to find a calculator to see how many extra tacos they could buy. Look for the sale of XXXXL AC jerseys to disappear from their usual place on the clearance racks tomorrow.

-PSon

World Class or No Class

World Class:

Kurt Warner – The dumbest argument I heard in the weeks leading up to Super Bowl XLIII was whether or not people thought Kurt Warner was worthy of the Hall of Fame. I thought the argument against him was a poor one before the Super Bowl but it seems even more ridiculous now (about as ridiculous as people saying Ben Roethlisberger is more of a lock than Warner). Kurt Warner has been to 3 Super Bowls. He won his first and was named MVP. In the other two he was on the losing end of two of the most crushing defeats in modern Super Bowl history. Warner did everything he could to win those and had to sit on the sidelines and watch his D crumble in the last minute. He was about a foot away from watching his D lose the only championship he has. Warner owns the top 3 passing yard performances in Super Bowl history (yes, he’s 3 for 3) and did it with two perennial losing franchises. Was he lucky to play with such great offenses or was he the key ingredient to the success of those franchises? I say the latter.

Ben Roethlisberger – The talk all week was about Roethlisberger’s poor performance the last time he took center stage in the biggest game of the NFL season. His team still won but it certainly didn’t have a lot to do with him. Big Ben really stepped up this year and made sure his stamp was placed on this year’s game. During the game I tried to downplay the plays he made, even saying the pass to Holmes was a poor decision because he threw it in an area with 3 defenders. That kind of throw takes massive stones and Steeler Nation should be thankful that his stones are proportional to his head, which is monstrous. The bottom line is that he was under attack for most of the game and improvised a number of first downs for the Steelers when most quarterbacks would have taken the sack. What Big Ben does better than any quarterback in the league is he escapes pressure and finds an open space so he can square up and hit open receivers.

Larry Fitzgerald – The line for Fitz-fellating stories is never ending but this piece would not be complete without the most prolific player I’ve seen since Barry Sanders (my idol and the reason I will never take off the number 20). It was virtually impossible for Fitz’s stock to rise after what he did in the previous 3 games during the postseason but it did. Down 20-7, he scored two touchdowns that along with a safety helped the team take a 23-20 lead with just over 2 minutes left in the game. He made what amounted to a one handed catch on the first TD and he caught a 10 yard slant and took it 64 yards for what should have been the game winning touchdown. On the play, Ike Taylor tried to jam him at the line (it was previously reported by me that James Harrison was on him), he ran right past him, caught the ball with his hands and split the two safeties and scampered to the end zone with them and James Harrison in tow. Tommy Curran came on the Rome radio show on Monday and mentioned something that I probably should have talked about yesterday and was almost his best play of the game. After Harrison jumped the Boldin route and started running the other way at the end of the half, you can see Fitz about 5 yards deep in the endzone. Fitz first started by running straight down the field and realized that the Steelers were set up in perfect kick return formation. They essentially had a wall set up so anybody who tried to take Harrison down from the middle of the field would have to fight off two or three blocks. Larry was blocked a couple of times and ran to the sideline where he dodged a couple of straggling Cardinals players. He had to push Antrel Rolle out of his way at about the 20 and eventually caught Harrison at the goal line. It is likely that if Rolle hadn’t gotten in his way, he would have taken Harrison down earlier and maybe the Cards win the game. The line he took was amazing because he was essentially zig-zagging through people while Harrison ran a straight line to the endzone and Fitz still caught him at the goal line.

James Harrison – Not enough has been said of the significance of Harrison’s TD and what he has meant to the team all year. Harrison was undrafted out of college and was cut by a number of teams before catching on with Pittsburgh. He is a very effective player on D for Pittsburgh because he’s so versatile. You saw it during the game, he was able to get to the quarterback on a consistent basis and he was very effective when dropping back in coverage. While it’s true that he had tremendous blocking in front of him on that runback, his timing and speed were what made the play possible. There are some cornerbacks who wouldn’t have been able to return that all the way for the touchdown. The only glitch in his game on Sunday was the smackdown he laid on Arizona DB, Francisco that drew a personal foul and pinned the Steelers on their own 1 yard line. He was probably just upset that somebody actually tried to block him as he was getting good pressure much of the day. In all seriousness, I was incensed at the time and thought Harrison should have been booted from the game. But he wasn't and there's no denying his role. Oh yeah, did I mention he was the NFL Defensive Player of the Year?

Barack Obama – Matt Lauer interviewed him during pregame and mentioned how Obama was cut out of the shot on his family’s cover shot in the latest edition of People magazine. His mug was covered up by a side piece on Jessica Simpson and her latest issues. Lauer showed him the cover and Obama got off this unintended blast, “[pointing] Apparently she’s in a weight battle.” Boom. It must be said that the piece literally says, “WEIGHT BATTLE” and has a picture of Simpson but that doesn’t make it any less funny.

No Class:

The Hall of Fame Committee – Leaving Shannon Sharpe out of the Hall of Fame is like a slap in the face to tight ends and guys with rippling pecs everywhere. I know it was his first time on the ballot and he will get in at some point but he deserved to be a first ballot hall-of-famer. Here’s a sample of some of Shannon’s credentials: 3 Super Bowl titles, 8 Pro Bowls, 4 time 1st team All-Pro Selection, 815 receptions, 62 TDs, 10,060 yards.

Roy Williams – For comparing TO and himself to Fitz and Boldin. Enough said.

The morons conducting the booth reviews – The non-challenge on the Kurt Warner’s fumble was unbelievable. I know that people are saying that they did do a review but I’m sorry, no they didn’t. The guys in the booth did a quick review and took it upon themselves to say the play was 100% accurate on the field and didn’t warrant an official’s review. The guys on the field are working the Super Bowl for a reason, because they have proven themselves to be the best throughout the season. Your job is to make sure everything close gets reviewed so no calls in the final two minutes are botched. Kurt’s arm was going forward. You took away a fan’s opportunity to see whether Larry Fitzgerald could go up in a heap of players and pull down a ball for the championship. Who knows, maybe I rewrite my teabag column with a new brand of teabag. I was listening to Friday’s Rome show today and they mentioned the Colonel’s Scholar Program in which KFC vowed to donate $250,000 to charity if any team completed a hail mary on the last play of the game. Now you're just taking money from kids.

LaMarr Woodley - This guy was directly involved in both controversial no-calls during Sunday's game. He threw the textbook clip on Tim Hightower as he was about to tackle James Harrison on his 100 yard runback and he was the guy who grabbed Kurt Warner's arm as it was going forward. Maybe he should be in the World Class section...

Aaron Francisco - Unbelievable postseason for this guy. He was directly involved in every blown play by Arizona's DBs this postseason. The sad thing is he might be a good player, but I didn't know his name before this postseason and now he's that guy who intercepted a ball against Philly then let DeSean Jackson run him down from behind and force him to fumble, that guy who was physically assaulted by James Harrison, that guy who fell over during the most important defensive stand in the history of the franchise, and that guy who was a second late on the Holmes touchdown.

Georges St. Pierre - Shame on you if this is true. Not that St. Pierre needed any help to win on Saturday night but if this is true, St. Pierre and his camp are cheaters and MMA is a sport that doesn't take kindly to cheaters. St. Pierre spent 4 rounds completely dominating Penn but it was apparent that Penn was trying to work his legs up on GSPs body and couldn't find a hold. I'm not going to pretend like I saw this but it can be a significant advantage against a fighter who plans to work a submission out of the guard. You can bet Dana White will look into this and if it turns out to be true, F bombs will fly out of his mouth with no regard for man, woman, or child.

-PSon

Sour Grapes It Is (This is really going to sound like I'm a Cards fan)

The prevailing image for me during Arizona's 23-27 loss to Pittsburgh in last night's Super Bowl was Larry Fitzgerald with his helmet on and gloves hanging from the bars on his facemask, pleading, "No, no, please no..." as officials reviewed Santonio Holmes' game winning catch with just over 30 seconds left in the game.

This Super Bowl, one of the greatest I've ever witnessed behind the Broncos' 1997 win over the Packers and last year's incredible Giants/Patriots affair, was characterized by great plays and iffy calls. I'm not sure what it is about these Steelers but they sure bring out the worst in referees. The Cardinals were flagged 11 times for over 100 yards worth of penalties, 2 of which where very bad calls in my mind (roughing the passer and defensive holding) which resulted in first downs and sustained long drives for the Steelers. The Steelers were hit with a couple of indefensible personal fouls (on the player's part) and a holding penalty in the endzone that resulted in a safety (the guy had a good shot at knocking the Roethlisberger pass down if not for the hold).

The Cardinals got beyond those calls and eventually took the lead in the game with just over 2 minutes left. It was a well designed play with the two inside receivers running out patterns to make the safeties cheat towards the sidelines, Warner then hit Fitzgerald (being covered by James Harrison???!!!) with a 10 yard slant and ran right past the two safeties for a 64 yard TD to go up 23-20. Pittsburgh's next drive was very well executed, Roethlisberger avoided sacks a number of times and made the plays when it mattered. The big play was on a long Santonio Holmes catch down the sideline where it looked like Roethlisberger faked the DB on that side out of his zone with a very nice pump fake and threw it to a wide open Holmes. A few plays later, Holmes made a great toe-tapping catch in the corner of the endzone to take a 4 point lead. The Cards still had a chance though with 2 timeouts and just over 30 seconds left.

I have a serious problem with how the officials handled the last 15 seconds of the game. The Cardinals hit two passes to the middle of the field to take it to the Steeler 44 yard line with 15 seconds to go, no timeouts. The Steelers got good pressure on the next play but Warner ran away from it and as he was attempting to heave a pass to the endzone, his arm was hit by Woodley and the ball came loose. Immediately I thought it was an incomplete pass as it looked like his arm was going forward. The refs called it a fumble and awarded the ball to Pittsburgh. I thought, "It doesn't really matter because they have to booth review it." The play was that close. In fact, on further review I still thought it was an incomplete pass (I'm sure Pittsburgh fans would say the opposite). When the ball was awarded to the Steelers, Lamarr Woodley took his helmet off and started to celebrate, drawing a 15 yard penalty. Next thing I knew Roethlisberger was kneeling the ball and the game was over. An official appeared to wave his hands from side-to-side for some reason, not sure if they always do that or something else was going on but the game was over and I was extremely confused.

Booth reviews came about because the NFL wanted to make sure calls were correct in the last 2 minutes of games. They didn't want to have games decided by incorrect calls. I've seen some of the most obvious plays be reviewed because they wanted to be sure they got it right. With the Super Bowl on the line, they failed to review this play and cost the Cardinals a shot at the endzone. The unbelievable part is that because of Woodley's penalty, the ball would have been placed at the 29 YARD LINE! The Cards would have had one shot to the end zone from 29 yards out. If you don't think they have a legitimate chance to score from there you're crazy. Even in a hail mary situation, the Cards have the best jumper in the game along with 2 other physical receivers with great hands. The worst part about this whole situation is that none of the announcers mentioned it. It pains me that none of the game announcers or any of ESPNs talking heads made any mention of the non-review. I can't wait to listen to Rome or Simmons to see if they mention it but I would bet money that they do.

Either way it was an incredible game. The Cardinals showed that they can play with anybody, including the best team in the league with one of the greatest defenses of all time. What really lost the game for the Cards was the 100 yard return by James Harrison to close out the 1st half. If he didn't score, the Cards win. If Warner doesn't throw a pick, the Cards win. If Tim Hightower doesn't get blocked in the back on the play, the Cards win. If Kurt Warner fell over and made Harrison trip over him, the Cards win. I actually had a problem with Holmes winning the MVP partially because of this play. While it was predictable the either him or Roethlisberger would win it, I don't know how you don't give it to Harrison. That return was the longest play in Super Bowl history. If he didn't flash in front of Boldin in time or if he hadn't caught the ball, the Cards would have kicked a field goal at minimum. Harrison also drew many damaging holding calls against the Cards' left tackle and pressured Warner all night. Holmes' catch was a great one and they needed it to win the game but he had 131 receiving yards on the night. Harrison had 100 return yards as a D lineman and he made the game's defining play.

-PSon

Super Bowl Predictions

• 
  

• Hines Ward will play but will do nothing except level an unsuspecting DB.
• Anquan Boldin will have a monster game. 2 TDs and 100+ yards.
• Larry Fitzgerald will have 1 TD max and under 75 yards receiving.
• Kurt Warner will complete more than 30 passes but only one will be over 30 yards.
• Ben Roethlisberger will have a minimum of 3 turnovers and one will be a fumble.
• Arizona will not crack 50 rushing yards.
• There will be 5 turnovers in the game.
• There will be 8 sacks in the game, 5 of them will be on Roethlisberger.
• Steve Breaston will have at least one monster return or catch.
  
• Adrian Wilson will lay a harder hit than any of the Steelers' DBs.
• Mitch Berger will punt a ball under 30 yards but he will also make at least one tackle.
  
• Jeff Reed will hit 3 field goals.
• The Arizona D will make a monster play when it looks like all is lost.
• Heath Miller will be Pittsburgh's leading pass catcher (whatever that means to you).
• Pittsburgh will run a trick play in which Nate Washington will be prominently involved. It will go for over 50 yards.
• Arizona will run a trick play and it will not work. Troy Polamalu will play a prominent role in breaking it up.
• Arizona will score first and be up at halftime.
  
• Final score: Arizona 27, Pittsburgh 23
• I will crush a decent amount of booze and Teddy's famous pulled pork.
  

I am ready for some football.

-PSon

"Karma" being sought in connection with Andrew Bynum injury

Last night during the first quarter of the Los Angeles Lakers game against the Memphis Grizzlies, Lakers player Andrew Bynum fell to the floor in a heap, clutching his knee in agony. Details are sketchy at this time but police are currently gathering information in an attempt to apprehend the suspect. Witnesses have named one possible suspect who goes by the name of Karma. There have been no further leads at press time.

UPDATE!

New evidence has surfaced in reference to the Andrew Bynum injury on Saturday night. Police suspect foul play but there is no evidence to suggest a connection to Bynum's cheap foul on Gerald Wallace during Tuesday's Lakers/Bobcats contest. Gerald Wallace suffered a collapsed lung after an "errant" Bynum elbow during Tuesday's contest.

Police have however made a possible connection between Bynum's injury and last August's injury to Ohio State running back Beanie Wells.

-PSon