Chris Fowler: Harbinger of Doom

I woke up this morning expecting to turn on SportsCenter to see highlights of a Rafa Nadal rout. I checked my Streak for the Cash because I picked Nadal to earn the 3 set sweep. The pick was red, a loser. I didn’t think anything of it until I saw the front page of ESPN.com flashing that the match was still going on. I flipped to the match and it looked like it was early in the 5^th set. There were 3 sets that were decided by tiebreakers already and this one looked to be headed in that direction. Both guys were hitting unbelievable shots, following those up with whole-hearted fistpumps and intense glares across the court. It was 1:00 AM in Melbourne and the fans were as raucous as ever.

The match lasted just shy of 5 and a quarter hours, the longest match in Australian Open history. Verdasco was serving down 5-4 in the 5^th and deciding set. Down 0 – 40, he took two straight points with two well-timed and aggressive rushes to the net. Serving at 30 – 40 for the right to face the golden god of tennis, Roger Federer in the final. Just then, Chris Fowler let this blast rip, and Verdasco fans knew all was lost.

“Please do not let this match end with a double fault, he's played too well for that.”*

First serve… long. Second serve… net. Nadal started rolling around on the ground like Demi Moore with a pile of cash. We all hated that match to end like that but did Chris Fowler have to put the Fowler Hex on Verdasco? Maybe the real question should be, did Verdasco double fault because Fowler said what he said or was Verdasco destined to double fault and Fowler was obligated to fulfill his calling as the, dare I say, grim reaper of sports? Who was Fowler talking to? It was almost as if he was pleading with the gods not to let this happen. In order to fully examine this, a little research must be done. I took the day off from work to review old tapes of sporting events Fowler has called and also had conversations with some ESPN colleagues as well as some of his old college buddies from the University of Colorado. Here’s a sampling of some of Fowler’s most chilling calls:

1994 - “So Bill (McCartney, former CU head coach), maybe you should stick around for a bit longer. You have a NCAA title under your belt already, why not go for a few more? It would be a shame if you headed up a cult-like organization, leading the biggest sausage-fest rallies known to man. I would also hate to see the CU football team start losing to the likes of Baylor and Kansas on a regular basis. Embarrassing.”**

1994 - “Hey Ron, you should probably wait until tomorrow to return those glasses. It’s getting late and I would hate for them play a prominent role in your demise.”**

1999 - “Hey Hammie, congrats on being the #1 pick. Let me buy you a drink. Bartender, two Crowns on the rocks. Here’s to hoping this doesn’t lead to a debilitating alcohol and heroin addiction.”**


2002 - “What a wonderful game played by Maurice Clarett. This guy could have a bright future ahead of him. I just hope he doesn’t attempt to enter the draft early, sign an agent, lose an entire year of football, be given a chance by an NFL team, get cut, try to rob somebody and end up in prison. That would be horrible.”**

2003 - “The Cowboys should cut just signed free-agent rookie QB Tony Romo. I would hate to see every Cowboy season in the next decade end with his poor play playing a large part.”**


2008 - “I talked to David Tyree before the game and he mentioned there was a locker room mishap involving some honey. You would hate to see this perfect Patriots season end with that honey being a factor.”**

Maybe there’s something to this…

* Actual Chris Fowler quote.

** Chris Fowler never said this.

-PSon