Great Athletes of the Silver Screen: Teen Wolf

As part of an ongoing effort to bring the best and worst of the sports world to you the reader, I will be posting a series of profiles on some of the biggest ballers to grace the silver screen. Think about some of your favorite movie characters and how they absolutely dominated their opponents. They could one day be profiled on this blog. Their day may come soon.

ATHLETE: TEEN WOLF (SCOTT HOWARD)

ACTOR: MICHAEL J. FOX

MOVIE: TEEN WOLF (1985)

DOMINANT SPORT: BASKETBALL, SHOTGUNNING BEERS

LOVE INTEREST: RESIDENT SCHOOL HOTTIE, HOMELY BEST FRIEND

ENEMY: MICK MCALLISTER (STAR JOCK FROM RIVAL SCHOOL, POSSIBLE *ALLEGEDLY* HOMOSEXUAL MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL PLAYER)

MISSION: THROW DOWN THUNDEROUS DUNKS, BREAK ANKLES, TEACH FAT FRIEND HOW TO BE A HERO, MAKE LADIES WEAK IN THE KNEES, LEARN VALUABLE LIFE LESSONS, MAKE DOUCHEY ANTAGONIST LOOK LIKE IMPOTENT PRICK BY BEATING HIM WITH NERD SKILLS, WIN OUR HEARTS

Teen Wolf is perhaps the greatest sports movie involving nerds turning into hairy creatures and dominating the hardwood. It's pretty much every nerd's dream. Wake up one night to the sound of your own screams as your skin stretches and grows hair at an alarming rate. Scott Howard went from a nobody, a nerd with an entrepreneurial best friend and a penchant for leering at the popular girls, to a feral beast with skills like Lebron and game like Usher. In perhaps the greatest feat of the modern beer drinking era, Teen Wolf drank a beer using only his teeth, forever etching himself in the pantheon of beer pounding greats.

Teen Wolf goes on to dominate the court, but succeeds in alienating his team and best friends. Teen Wolf eventually ditches his man-beast persona and trophy girlfriend but still manages to beat rival Mick McAllister's team with the help of his fat, inept teammates. It goes without saying that Mark Arnold puts in a stellar performance as the Soc-like McAllister, no doubt relegating himself to being typecast in horribly awesome B sports movies. The final scene where McAllister stands under the basketball supports while Howard hits his free throws is riddled with sexual tension. You can't buy acting skills like that.

-PSon