Academy Awards Results!

Trent Dilfer wins Best Actor for his role in pretending like he played a part in the Baltimore Ravens 2000 Super Bowl win.










Jeff Garcia given the Best Supporting Actor nod for his riveting portrayal of a heterosexual male.

















-PSon

The Thrill of Victory, the Agony of Defeat

What is it about winning? One month after your season ends will you really feel that much better after winning a championship than you will after underachieving? These are the questions I asked myself for 3 months following one of the most emotionally draining endeavors of my life. I couldn't do anything. I questioned the reasons I played the game and why I put myself through so much emotional and physical pain throughout the season. Herm Edwards would say, "We play to win the game." Herm Edwards was fired this week. The real answer should be that we play for our teammates and because of the love for our teammates, we play to win the game. We win as a team and every person on that team’s pride is on the line every time they step on the field wearing those uniform colors. That pride should be on the line because nobody wants to look in their teammates’ eyes after a contest and see any doubt that you did everything you could to help the team succeed. Any given team maximizes its chance of success when every person asks themselves, “What is my roll on this team? Do I want to hope my teammates do enough to win this game or am I going to do something to further our chances?”.

History is filled with great players who didn’t necessarily choke in big moments but who did not do everything in their power to help their team win. If you score 40% of your team’s points during the regular season and take every meaningful shot, are you going to take those shots when the stakes are high or are you going to defer to teammates who aren’t accustomed to taking that shot. They might make it but their probability of success is lower, they just haven’t taken the reps. For every Big Shot Rob there are 10 Karl Malones or Chris Webbers, guys who would rather pass the ball to a less talented teammate than use their superior skills to help their team win. There is also a long list of little-known players who did one single thing, the same thing they did all year, in a crucial moment and their team won because of it. It doesn’t really matter what kind of player you are. Games can be decided by all things big and small, a free throw, a missed block, staying at home instead of going for the spectacular play, setting a screen, inbounding a ball, snapping a ball, holding it…

I play elite level Ultimate on a championship caliber team. Expectations were very high last season, we were the sexy pick to win the title. Our rivals, the team we lost to in the National Championship game last year were coming into a season where they peaked early for Worlds (a tournament they lost) and lost a couple of key players from their previous championship runs. We lost only 3 games during the regular season, 2 of them at a tournament where we had about half our squad, and the other was against the team we lost the finals to last year. Something changed during that loss. There was a certain lack of respect we felt from them that we failed to see previously. They were acting like a bunch of assholes, treating the game like it didn't matter if they won (made all the worse by the fact that they were winning), and putting on cute little sideline displays to entertain themselves. We decided then that things would be different next time we played.

Nationals arrived and we were the 2 seed. We came out on fire in our first two games and squeaked by our 3rd in a very tough pool. Day 2 was a nightmare as we managed to lose both of our games, the second of which was a game where we were up big and choked in the end. Circumstances were such that had we won that game, we would be at the top of our pool with a favorable first game the following day. A loss meant we would have to play a dreaded prequarter game that night followed by a quarterfinal match up the next morning against the team that beat us in the championship game the prior year. We took care of business in prequarters and came out the next morning fired up and ready to play. We felt there was a sense of entitlement on their part which led to a lack of respect for us, not to mention the bulletin board material we were hoarding (“We’re not afraid of Johnny Bravo. They always choke.”) that I’m sure they never thought would get back to us. It wasn’t a pretty match but in the end, we provided the grit needed to secure a victory and end their reign over us. In all honesty, they are a great team with a lot of good guys. People need to hold on to whatever bit of motivation they can so great teams are often painted the villain. We certainly weren't the only team to feel that way about them but those feelings were not unwarranted. The struggle never ends and when next year rolls around, one victory will not be enough to make up for the many heartbreaking losses… ERRRR, choke jobs.

So many times in sports you see a team finally get over a hill to reach a beautiful valley with a meandering river, swaying trees, it's a beautiful place to be. The thing about valleys is there are mountains on both sides. An emotional high is quickly replaced by the reality that the quest is not complete and in your haste to enjoy the scenery, you failed to see the ominous clouds at your back. Parity is a great thing for sports, it is inspiring and heartbreaking at the same time. We faced a squad that we beat 4 of the 5 times we played them in the last 2 years. We realized all too late that this wasn’t the same team we were accustomed to. Brett Favre morphed into Chad Pennington. Precise throws replaced 50/50 balls and we were not ready for it. When you come out slow against an opponent who refuses to give you the disc, it’s an impossible uphill battle. We didn’t make it. My inability to play in the game (pulled hamstring in the previous game) had me in tears before it even started and the tension throughout exhausted all my emotion. My attempt to drink away those feelings worked for a bit but like a band-aid, it falls away with time and always leaves a scar as a reminder.

What can you do after something like that? I chose to hide the scar. It was hard for me to see my teammates mostly due to the fact that I was certain I let them down. I tried to play all year with a painful injury and even took a cortisone shot before Nationals (worked for about a week) but I wasn’t able to play to the level I demand of myself. I entertained the thought of giving up the game at some point in the last 3 months. This thought didn’t last for long but it was there nonetheless. I always told myself that I wouldn’t quit playing (in some capacity) until someone dragged me off the field. Now I was entertaining the thought of giving up the sport I loved and the one thing that defined me more than anything for the past 7 years? What happened? The explanation came to me in a flash. Early in my career, success came too easily. While I worked hard on the field, I worked just as hard off the field to destroy what I accomplished on the field. I hadn’t been accustomed to putting in the work during the off-season. In the past I used it to make a clean break from the season, recharge my batteries. As you get older your body doesn’t metabolize food as quickly, injuries linger, basically your body starts to fight back. I came into last season in the worst shape of my career and that played a large part in my various ailments. No big surprise, but I never experienced that before.

I've seen a slow decline ever since the peak of my career in 2004. My body used to be impervious to anything, earth, other bodies, binge drinking, King Buffet, you name it. These days I wake up sore, tired, and hung-over. Sadly, I thought I was done at the age of 25 but I still hung in there. I wasn't the same player but I evolved and I learned other ways to be effective. My drive and will to be the best wouldn't let me fall by the wayside. This season was especially hard for me. A lingering injury finally proved to be too much for me to take. If pain is the only barrier, I can take it but this was something else. My knees ceased to work like I wanted them to. They felt unstable and weak, I worried about a possible ligament tear. The doctor said differently, apparently I was born with knock-knees, an issue that primarily affects women. It was the bane of my entire season and made me half the player I thought myself to be. Within 5 years, my skill set changed from that of a #1 college deep to a D line handler.

I have recommitted myself to playing Ultimate at a high level and to being in the best shape I’ve been in since early college. World Games tryouts are playing a big part in the realization that I need to start training early for this season. For those that don’t know, 13 players will be selected to the Team USA roster for this summer’s World Games in Chinese Taipei. Playing for my country has been a huge goal of mine since I was a child watching the Olympics. It would be an honor for me and I know my family would be proud if I were to make that squad. My playing weight in college was 175 and I think I can get down to at least that even with my increase in muscle mass since those days. I will be in good shape once the tryouts roll around and even if I don’t make the team, I will be that much closer to being at the level I need to be at. My goal is to hit 175 by my birthday and evaluate from there. I just know that when the clock runs out on the 2009 season, Johnny Bravo will not underachieve and individually I vow to have my best season yet.

- JA

Chris Fowler: Harbinger of Doom

I woke up this morning expecting to turn on SportsCenter to see highlights of a Rafa Nadal rout. I checked my Streak for the Cash because I picked Nadal to earn the 3 set sweep. The pick was red, a loser. I didn’t think anything of it until I saw the front page of ESPN.com flashing that the match was still going on. I flipped to the match and it looked like it was early in the 5^th set. There were 3 sets that were decided by tiebreakers already and this one looked to be headed in that direction. Both guys were hitting unbelievable shots, following those up with whole-hearted fistpumps and intense glares across the court. It was 1:00 AM in Melbourne and the fans were as raucous as ever.

The match lasted just shy of 5 and a quarter hours, the longest match in Australian Open history. Verdasco was serving down 5-4 in the 5^th and deciding set. Down 0 – 40, he took two straight points with two well-timed and aggressive rushes to the net. Serving at 30 – 40 for the right to face the golden god of tennis, Roger Federer in the final. Just then, Chris Fowler let this blast rip, and Verdasco fans knew all was lost.

“Please do not let this match end with a double fault, he's played too well for that.”*

First serve… long. Second serve… net. Nadal started rolling around on the ground like Demi Moore with a pile of cash. We all hated that match to end like that but did Chris Fowler have to put the Fowler Hex on Verdasco? Maybe the real question should be, did Verdasco double fault because Fowler said what he said or was Verdasco destined to double fault and Fowler was obligated to fulfill his calling as the, dare I say, grim reaper of sports? Who was Fowler talking to? It was almost as if he was pleading with the gods not to let this happen. In order to fully examine this, a little research must be done. I took the day off from work to review old tapes of sporting events Fowler has called and also had conversations with some ESPN colleagues as well as some of his old college buddies from the University of Colorado. Here’s a sampling of some of Fowler’s most chilling calls:

1994 - “So Bill (McCartney, former CU head coach), maybe you should stick around for a bit longer. You have a NCAA title under your belt already, why not go for a few more? It would be a shame if you headed up a cult-like organization, leading the biggest sausage-fest rallies known to man. I would also hate to see the CU football team start losing to the likes of Baylor and Kansas on a regular basis. Embarrassing.”**

1994 - “Hey Ron, you should probably wait until tomorrow to return those glasses. It’s getting late and I would hate for them play a prominent role in your demise.”**

1999 - “Hey Hammie, congrats on being the #1 pick. Let me buy you a drink. Bartender, two Crowns on the rocks. Here’s to hoping this doesn’t lead to a debilitating alcohol and heroin addiction.”**


2002 - “What a wonderful game played by Maurice Clarett. This guy could have a bright future ahead of him. I just hope he doesn’t attempt to enter the draft early, sign an agent, lose an entire year of football, be given a chance by an NFL team, get cut, try to rob somebody and end up in prison. That would be horrible.”**

2003 - “The Cowboys should cut just signed free-agent rookie QB Tony Romo. I would hate to see every Cowboy season in the next decade end with his poor play playing a large part.”**


2008 - “I talked to David Tyree before the game and he mentioned there was a locker room mishap involving some honey. You would hate to see this perfect Patriots season end with that honey being a factor.”**

Maybe there’s something to this…

* Actual Chris Fowler quote.

** Chris Fowler never said this.

-PSon

What the Fuck?

Do you recognize this scene? It's the #5 seeded (wildcard) NY Giants beginning their celebration of their upset victory in the 2007 Super Bowl over the #1 seed New England Patriots. Oh my god! A wild card team knocked off the one seed??? No fucking way! The G-Men won 11 straight games to close that season and played their best football when it counted most.How about this one? Big Ben looks pretty surprised, doesn't he? Yeah. We all were. It's from Super Bowl XL. Pittsburgh was the #6 seed (wildcard). They beat the #1 seeded Seahawks. The Steelers just got hot at the right time. Which brings us up to Super Bowl XLIII. Well shit. What do we have here? The #2 seeded Steelers facing the #4 seeded Arizona Cardinals who limped into the playoffs at 9-7 (the worst record of any team in the playoffs) out of junior varsity that is the 2008 NFC West. And we've got to listen to Trey "Dingo" Wingo and Mike "I have the most obviously fabricated TV personality on earth" Golic tell us how much of a long shot the Arizona Cardinals are.I mean, look at their full body of work! 9-7 in a terribly weak NFC West. Huge losses to the Pats, Jets and Vikings. Shit guys. Have you not been watching? They were underdogs against the Falcons, Panthers and Eagles. They're playing their best football of the season at the most important time. I'm not saying that they're a sure thing on Sunday, but goddamn it, can we not re-hash this same story-line again and again? How many times do we have to see an NFL team transform and re-define itself in playoff time before we give them a fighting chance? If you find yourself trolling the streets Sunday night, looking for the least surprised football fan on the planet, I'll be right here.

The Yankee Years: A Different Kind of Man-Love

The hype for the release of Joe Torre's book "The Yankee Years" reached a new high today when the above photo was released. Everyone seems worried. Quite frankly, I was psyched. Looks like clubhouse chemistry should be at all time high.

Andrei Arlovski IMDB

While watching highlights of Andrei Arlovski's fight on Saturday night, I knew I recognized him from somewhere. Turns out he's actually an accomplished actor, albeit a typecast one. Here are a few selections from his IMDB page.

1. Skipping School (2008) .... Unemployed Guy
2. The Hammer (2007) .... Knockout Victim
3. Jail Party (2005) (V) .... Glass Jaw
4. Organized Art (2005) .... Concussion Victim
5. Deus Volt (1997) .... Man Hurt Falling Down
6. Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994) (uncredited) .... Toothless Giant
7. Escape Through Time (1993) (V) .... Guy who gets punched over table

-PSon

When Sports Cliches Go Wrong...

"We can't beat these guys unless we start executing on offense."



-PSon

"Jay McGwire" Implicates Mark McGwire, Barry Bonds in Steroid Ring

"Maybe the record should go to third in line?"

-PSon

Changing of the Guard

When Allen Iverson first came to the Nuggets I was ecstatic. The Nuggets were consistently making the playoffs for years but had yet to break into the elite of the Western Conference (and thus, the NBA). They couldn’t even win a first round series. A.I. gave Nuggets fans hope. It actually looked like management was in the business of trying to make this team a winner, doing whatever it takes to provide George Karl with the talent he needs to win. The Nuggets then had the two top scorers in the league (statistically, at the time), what else could they possibly need?

A.I. and Carmelo coexisted well for awhile. They were saying all the right things, Iverson even looked like he was fine with deferring to Melo and being content with setting his teammates up with good opportunities to score. Of course that all fell to the wayside eventually and showed why games aren’t played on paper. The Nuggets scored a ton of points, they just forgot to play defense. In their haste to get up the court on offense, they gave up plays going the other way and just looked like they were willing to push on offense and survive on D.

I think part of the problem stemmed from the fact that Carmelo was still a very young guy and he was trying to mature without a positive role model and with the knowledge that he was the best player on an NBA team full of athletes but not necessarily role players. The team had an identity but that identity was that of a team with a bunch of shoot first players (J.R., AC, Melo, A.I., K-Mart, etc…) and one guy willing to play real defense all the time (Camby). The team’s most popular players, J.R. Smith and Linas Kleiza, were the only two guys (with the exception of a healthy Nene) who were willing to put everything they had on both sides of the floor. The problem was that the Nuggets had to go with a guard tandem of A.I. and Anthony Carter because A.I. couldn’t be trusted to run the offense and AC was the Nuggets’ best option at the point. Nothing against AC who is a pretty solid defender but he has his own problems with shot selection. Where was J.R.’s playing opportunities? A.I. needs 40 minutes a night to be happy and the thought of J.R. or A.I. running the point side by side is somewhat frightening.

Basically A.I. is a great scorer but needs the right mix of players to succeed. He has an abundance of talent and even had some success in Philly, leading them to the NBA Finals twice. He was the unquestioned alpha dog on those teams but those teams were systematically taken apart in the finals because they knew he was the team’s only real option. Stop him, stop the 76ers. A.I. is a perfect nickname for Iverson because he is like a computer game in a lot of ways. He hoists up 40 shots a game, never uses the entire clock, and is always looking for the exciting play. On defense, he goes for aggressive steals which puts him out of position at times and makes him a liability as he ages.

The Nuggets pulled off a brilliant trade earlier in the year to ship A.I. off to Detroit for Chauncey Billups (other players were involved but this was essentially a point guard swap). The prodigal son returned and I couldn’t have been more excited. Chauncey grew up in Colorado, attending the University of Colorado, and played for the Nuggest early in his career. Since that time, he cemented himself as one of the premier points in the league, a guy who was content with setting teammates up but was also deadly from the arc and could score when he needed to. At one point in his career he was known as “Mr. Big Shot” because of his ability to make a bucket when his team needed it the most.

The Nugs now have the 4th best record in the West (28-15) despite being without Carmelo (one of the top 10 players in the league) for 10 games. Chauncey has played like a champion with or without Carmelo and has elevated the play of everyone around him, offensively and defensively. This team should get a home playoff series this year and they have a legitimate shot of earning the 2 seed in the West. Meanwhile the Pistons are currently in 5^th place in a strong Eastern conference at 23-17. Trouble is already brewing though as the current starting lineup is not championship caliber and the coaching staff wants to make a change. Allen Iverson will not accept a 6^th man role so it has been announced that Rip Hamilton will be coming off the bench. We have seen from the Manu Ginobili experiment that a 6th man of that caliber can be a valuable ingredient to a championship team. It provides for a change of pace without a drop in talent. A.I.’s ego won’t allow for it so Rip will have to start games on the bench. Rip was a key ingredient on a gritty Pistons team that has a title belt. How he responds and how the fans will ultimately respond to the chemistry change should be watched closely.

-PSon

Ray of Light Reset (He Didn't Kill No Motha Effin' Lions)

Ram-Far's brilliant "You know how I know?" post reminded me of a great Robert Smigel video that was shown on SNL back in the day. It starts with a Trent Dilfer blast so you know it's good.



-PSon*

*PSon did not make this motha effin' video so please don't shoot the messenger.

You know how I know?

Do you know where Jacinth Baker and Richard Lollar went to college? Neither do I. But I do know where they didn't go: The U. You know how I know? Because I've never seen media coverage of Ray Lewis praying for them. They are the two men who died as a result of a January, 2000 brawl involving, allegedly, Ray Lewis and a few of his friends. Lewis was found not guilty. Sunday's AFC Championship game brought with it yet another "Ray Lewis is an intense, but sensitive, loving guy" as we watched him pray for teammate (and former U attendee) Willis McGahee. McGahee lay motionless on the turf after Pittsburgh Steeler safety Ryan Clark laid down yet another ridiculous hit. (Clark victimized Wes Welker earlier in the season).I guess it's different though. How could I expect there to be camera's in the hideout to which Lewis and company fled after, allegedly, using champagne bottles as clubs, kicking, punching and stabbing their victims. For all I know, the scene at the hideout closely resembled that in the huddle before Lewis played his first game following Sean Taylor's (Tha U) passing. My guess is that Ray Lewis brought all his boys together, down on one knee, and said a prayer for their victims, wished them well, hoped for their recovery.

Philly in the Super Bowl? Not in the... Cards (sorry)

I was originally planning on doing a sort of list of thoughts I had during the game but a lot of it ended up being recaps of big plays that happened. Not funny and not interesting. Instead I decided to make a list of the things I learned during the NFC Championship game.

• Philly has a TE named Brent Celek (pronounced Sell-eck). I couldn't see if he had a sick mustache but if he doesn't, what an incredible waste of a last name. Celek manned up for two TDs on the day.
• Kevin Curtis is fast. I mean Don Beebe fast. I'm talking Brandon Stokley fast. This guy has the heart of Wayne Chrebet and he's as cagey as Ed McCaffrey. Just impressive. He looks like Wes Welker out there.
• Edge James is alive and well and apparently playing for Arizona, where old people go to die.
• I already knew Larry “Samson” Fitzgerald was a god among men. I guess Philly forgot their scissors today because Samson torched them for three TDs. Here’s what I wrote after all three. 1) Fitzgerald across the middle, left wide open. He breaks three tackles and gets in the endzone. The Cards look fired up. Can't say the same for the Philly D. Warner went 4-4 for 44 yards on the drive. Not a bad start. 2) Unbelievable play. Warner pitches it back to J.J. Arrington who throws it cross field to Kurt. Warner loads up with all his might and bombs it to Fitzgerald who is covered by a mere mortal. Predictably Samson embarrasses the guy, almost tripping himself by stepping on the defender’s chest, balance regained, 62 yards to the barn. 14-3. 3) Asante Samuel mugs Fitzgerald on what would have been an easy touchdown. 1st and Goal after the pass interference. Samuel then grabs his hamstring and winces like Kobe after a missed shot. Warner then throws the easiest fade route I've ever seen to Fitzgerald for his 3rd TD.
• Donovan McNabb still has wheels, and he has a sense of humor. I actually thought it was funny when he picked up the phone on the Giants’ sideline last week. This week after his TD to DeSean Jackson he busted out a sweet little dance that reminded me of my boss walking into a meeting shooting jokes from the hip*. “Hey, I see we have Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie in the house tonight. 62 yards to the house? I haven’t see someone taken deep like that since that donkey show in Tijuana. Heyooo! I haven’t made a pass like that since Coach Reid’s wife. Heyoooo, you I’m just kidding Andy, who loves ya?”
• DeSean Jackson is only a rookie but he’s showing signs of being a great player, further removed from the days of him dropping balls on the 1 yard line. He made an great play with almost 2 minutes left in the 1st quarter. McNabb fired a pass across the middle, it was deflected and consequently intercepted by Aaron Francisco. Francisco ran it back probably 20 yards and was run down from behind by DeSean Jackson who tomahawked the ball, causing Francisco to fumble. The Eagles recovered. All-in-all they lost 8 yards on the play but it was a 1st and 10 because of the change of possession. That could have been a game changer.
• Here’s what I wrote about Arizona’s gameplan coming in; The Cards have come out with an incredible game plan, picking the Eagles' aggressive D apart with misdirection and screen passes. Warner is getting the ball off quickly to underneath routes. Pretty incredible coaching if you ask me. Besides the long pass to Fitzgerald, the Cards have shown themselves to be content with gaining small to medium chunks of easy yardage. Key stats - Kurt Warner 10 for 11, 153 yards, 3 TDs. Larry Fitzgerald 5 catches for 99 yards, 3 TDs. 3 minutes left in the 2nd. The Eagles better find an answer for this combo soon.
• Quintin Demps is a cheap shot artist - Quintin Demps takes a flat-out cheap shot at Kurt Warner well after the play, right in front of a referee. Warner and Demps were literally standing next to each other and Demps leveled him. Hey Demps, the Cards don't need your help to move the ball on your shell-shocked D.
• NFL referees are still bad; 4th and 10 for the Eagles. The Cards blitz, McNabb does a good job of avoiding, passes to Kevin Curtis who gets tackled by Roderick Hood before the ball gets there and there's no call. Tough way to lose. There's still a chance but the Eagles have to prevent the Cards from gaining a 1st down on their next drive.
• Nobody deserves this more than Adrian Wilson, Larry Fitzgerald, and Kurt Warner. Big games from all 3 of them. Adrian Wilson spent his entire career with this team and his loyalty pays off with a trip to the Super Bowl in 2 weeks. He had 7 tackles, 2 sacks, and a forced fumble in the game. Kurt Warner already has a Super Bowl championship and an MVP yet nobody gave him a chance as a starter. He won the starting nod over Matt Leinart and now has led the Arizona Cardinals to their 1st ever Super Bowl. Larry Fitzgerald has played the best postseason of anybody I can remember. He caught everything thrown to him, he made plays after the catch, and he inspired teammates with his infectious enthusiasm. He also now holds the record for the most receiving yards in a postseason and he still has one more game to play.
• This Arizona team plays with emotion. It was great to watch guys like Larry Fitzgerald (probably the best WR in the league) jump around like school girls after their last touchdown. Kneeling on the sidelines as the time ran down, you could see genuine tears in his eyes as well as the eyes of many of his teammates. Adrian Wilson, who was rock solid all game, let it all out during a postgame interview. He could hardly express how he felt in words but you could see where that team’s heart and drive came from. The much maligned Arizona D stopped Michael Turner, DeAngelo Williams, and Brian Westbrook in three straight games. They are playing out of their heads right now and I truly believe that they have a legitimate shot of beating the Steelers. As long as Warner can avoid turnovers and their D can hold Willie Parker to a mediocre game, they can certainly do it. Preparation is the key to the game, they came out of the gates against Philly with a plan on how to attack what the Eagles did best on D. Can they do the same against the best D in the league?

-PSon

What Is It About That Guy?

I'm looking at it on paper. I should like him. He plays hard. He blows dudes up whenever he gets the chance. He's a consistent producer. Doesn't complain (except when he gets in trouble for blowing dudes up). What's not to like?

I think it's that fake fuckin' smile. I just don't believe him. He's the ultimate fake nice guy. He's everyone's best friend, no anger, just loving life. I need to see someone put a Ryan Clark type hit on. But honestly, I don't even believe it would change anything.

I don't like people who never get mad. I want to see him get mad. Ward was on PTI and Kornheiser asked him why he is so hated in Baltimore. Ward said, "I smile all the time. I'm well liked in most areas. Personally, I think I'm a great guy". Personally, I think you're a fuckface. I don't like people who smile for no reason. Get a real emotion.

>>> Note <<<
This was an excerpt from Ramfarr's emotion journal.

Man Heart Split

I just don't know what to think. I've got a huge broner (see: http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/fe1c56e87b/rob-corddry-has-a-broner-from-fod-team-and-rob-corddry) for Anquan Boldin. Though I'm coming around on off-season contract disputes b/c I'm realizing the players have to play the cut-throat power game that is NFL contract negotiations, I still think it's a pretty strong negative character trait indicator. But when it got to go time, Boldin puts his unresolved contract dispute aside, comes out of the gates hot, then gets his face broken in 80 places by Eric Smith's cheap shot in week 4. He's back on the field 3 weeks later. Anyone who has had any kind of surgery involving hardware knows that's ridiculous. I got a 2 inch incision in my foot to insert a small screw in my 5th metatarsal. Very minor in the grand scheme. I can't tell you the pain I was in for the week following the surgery. I took about 100 vicodin over the next 3 weeks. Boldin took no pain meds. He plays football. I play badminton. He is a hard man.

But this weekend, in the final minutes of the Cardinals NFC Championship victory, Boldin was seen arguing openly with his offensive coordinator. Boldin spent the majority of final drive on the sideline. After the Cards sealed their first ever Super Bowl birth, Boldin hurried out of the locker room, foregoing the celebration with his teammates. Situations like this are so tough for outsiders. You never really know who's pissed about what, or exactly what words were exchanged. But is there ever a good reason to bail on the celebration with your team? Larry Fitzgerald is a golden god, so it's unfair to compare anyone to him, but what are the chances we ever seen that guy not share in his teammates' enjoyment of a victory earned together? Please Mr. Boldin. I want to love you. But I can't shake the feeling that you care only about your own success, and that any benefit to your teammates is just a convenient by-product.

Ask Todd McShay

We have made many great connections thanks to this blog so we would like to give our many readers a chance to ask questions of their favorite sports personalities. For the first installment, we have ESPN and Scout Inc.'s Todd "Mel Kiper Jr." McShay.

Todd,

What do you think about Utah’s surprising and convincing victory over previously #1 ranked Alabama? Seems like small conference teams have really been flexing their muscles recently. How do you think this will affect the landscape of college ultimate going forward?

Jedediah Buttermaker, The SLC

I’m not into this whole, “prove it on the field” school of thought. I know some guys would have you think that Utah can play with anybody but the fact of the matter is, the talent just isn’t there. I think it’s a nice little story for people and the whole underdog thing sells but I’m just not buying it. Sure they beat Alabama but I think Alabama is a team that was upset with the matchup. I’m sure they think, and I think as well, that they deserved to play a BCS conference team like Texas or Ohio State. It was disrespectful to them to even be included on the same marquee and I just think that it’s using sort of a “what have you done for me lately” mentality to even think that Utah can play with them, despite what the head-to-head results might have you believe. This is meant as no disrespect to Utah, I’m impressed by their insistence on sticking with a gimmicky offense and “hard-nosed” D in order to scrape by with wins over 4 top 25 teams. Those are just smoke-screens folks... magic if you will. That stuff may fly in the WAC and Mountain West Conference but step up to the big boys when they actually try hard and you might just get what you ask for.

___________________

Hey Todd,

I’m a fan of the U but I have become somewhat disenfranchised by the number of off the field incidents over the past 10 years. I have followed the story of Myron Rolle this year and find it refreshing that an athlete of his caliber can also excel in the classroom and realizes where football is in the grand scheme of things. He makes me want to be a ‘Nole fan! Where do you see him ending up if he does pursue life in the NFL after a year in England?

Thanks,

Tommy Canefan, Miami

Not impressed. I think this guy is an overrated football player, you look at his bloodline and expect a tremendous athlete with good size and all you’re really getting is a guy with a little bit of brains. I think the whole Rhodes Scholar thing is overblown. This is a guy who needs one more year in college to cement himself as a 3^rd round pick and possible career nickel-back but he’s foregoing it to chase unicorns and rainbows at Oxford. Passing up an NFL shot for the 9-5 grind that is neurosurgery? This guy has bust written all over him, and I’m not talking about the kind that resides in Canton.

___________________

Todd,

We were all glad to hear that Tim Tebow will be playing out his career at Florida. 3 titles and potentially 2 Heismans, not bad. Do you expect Tebow to make a good NFL player, whether it be QB or another position?

Thanks,

Ali Crocker, Gainesville

What did Kiper say? Yes? I’ll go with no then. That chest pounding, god-fearing act isn’t going to fly in the NFL. This is a quarterback with good size and a good heart with mediocre throwing skills. I know he loves the game but this isn’t Rudy. In the real world, Rudy takes a job at the steel mill like everyone else.

*Please note, Todd McShay did not say any of this. He might have said something similar, but that would be purely coincidental.

Titanic Mishap

A couple of things have been eating at me about the Titans/Ravens game for days. I have heard all week about the delay of game that never was. I must confess I didn't see it when it happened because I was taking a friend to the airport at the time and the radio guys didn't mention it. The two things that did jump out to me at the time was how Chris Johnson was injured and the Titans' choice to kick it with a 4th and 1 on the Baltimore 10.

I'll start with the latter. Justin Gage caught a 9 yard pass that on the radio sounded like it was close to being a first down. The ball was spotted a yard short. Now you've been slugging it out with a team for 3 and a half quarters, you've had the upper hand in yards all day but you're behind by 3 because of some untimely turnovers. Bironas has already missed a field goal. The choices are:

1. Take the short field goal with a high probability of success which will tie the game and give the other team the ball with 4:17 left in the game. Baltimore hasn't had a ton of offensive success all game but they haven't coughed up the ball either. Your D has been slugging it out all game. You lead time of possession by almost 10 minutes. They will be kicking with the wind.
   
2. Go for it on 4th down. You have a line that has had success with short yardage runs throughout the season. You have one of the biggest backs in the league who specializes in running for short yardages. He has 1 fumble thus far in the game. Your All-Pro center is out with an injury and his backup has been shaky (multiple shotgun snaps before the QB was ready). Baltimore has one of the most physical lines in the league.

Taking all the factors into account I believe (and believed at the time when I listened on the radio) that you have to go for it. You're trusting your O line to do what they've done all year, get 1 yard to save the season. It would be first and goal from the 9 yard line, max. Even if you run it a few more times and don't score, you give the Ravens (and rookie QB, Joe Flacco) significantly less time to score. Kerry Collins was solid all game, trust him not to turn it over. I think that taking the 3 points and kicking to the Ravens is saying that you don't trust your O to gain one yard and you are willing to roll the dice that whatever lucky bounce ends up coming your way. Do you really want to prolong a game like that when you're playing against a physical team like Baltimore's with a tired and bruised up D? As I listened to Bironas take the field goal I had a feeling that decision would come back to bite them in the end and it did. Baltimore put a good drive together and Stover put one through the uprights to end the Titans season.

I though the Chris Johnson injury was a bogus play by a guy I actually respect a lot, Ed Reed. I don't necessarily think it was a dirty play but watching it live, you can see that Johnson was on his way to the ground with his legs already wrapped up. Reed grabs his upper body and starts pulling him up, torquing his body back over his legs. Meanwhile, the lower half of his body was being driven the other way.

I'm not a Titans fan but I was incensed while watching this. I was upset that the announcers said nothing of it and I haven't heard anything about this all week, even though everybody seems to agree that the Titans win that game if Johnson stays in the game. I've been impressed with Johnson ever since I saw him play in East Carolina's bowl game last year against Boise State. He was a maniac with the ball and helped them pull off the upset against America's favorite small conference team. He then follows that up by tying the fastest 40 time ever at the NFL combine, a blazing 4.24. He has a chance to become one of the best running backs the league has seen so it's tough to watch him get bent backwards by 4 defenders. If he were a QB, a flag would have been thrown for sure and maybe Ed Reed is fined.

The NFL needs to look into ways to protect players from this because I've seen it happen quite a bit, just never like this. It's too bad it may have cost the Titans a happy ending to a great season. The injury sounds like a high ankle sprain. I'm glad it was just that because it could have been worse and looked that way.

-PSon

Top Videos

Here are some of my favorite videos of all time. Not all of them are sports related but I laughed... uncontrollably at times. If you like to laugh a lot and waste some time, these are for you. If you are not into fatherless children, coach and manager tantrums, or horrible Rosie O'Donnell blasts these are NOT for you.

Andrew, you are NOT the father!


Neither are you, Dion.


Chris Berman does not want you to move when he's on camera.


Don't make fun of Mike Gundy's quarterbacks.


Miss South Carolina spouts ignorant nonsense.


Only the audio is good on this one but CU coach Dan Hawkins gets off a tremendous "intramurals" blast on an unnamed CU player.


The best manager meltdown of all time. The rosin bag grenade is born.


Tony Batista psyches-out Japanese baseball player.


Rod Allen chases pitcher around field (the first 25 seconds is enough).


The Donald gets off the most amazing blast session of all time on Rosie O'Donnell.


Bill Simmons had links to these videos in one of his columns. If you are into Rocky montages, this one is for you. These guys put together their own versions of the "No Easy Way Out" and "Hearts on Fire" montages from Rocky 4. If you haven't seen the originals, watch them first via the links above. I have referenced Rocky montages and their outstanding levels of homoeroticism before but these videos are unbelievably well done.

No Easy Way Out


Hearts On Fire


-PSon

It's Good To Be King

The Broncos have hired a new coach, and that man is Josh McDaniels, former Patriots OC. I haven't had time to discuss my thoughts on the Shanny firing but I do wish him well. He's a great coach and offensive mind, there's no doubt that he will catch on somewhere else and achieve success. The Broncos have been stuck in a rut for years where they were good enough to barely make or barely miss the playoffs. A new direction was needed and I think this move will make the Broncos strong contenders in the next couple of years. I don't think we can expect huge things from the Broncos next year (not to say they can't succeed quickly) but this should be a solid team in 3-4 years.

It is currently being reported by a very trustworthy Broncos source that Mike Nolan will be Josh McDaniels' D coordinator. I couldn't be happier with this decision as Nolan has been with the Broncos in the past and has attained a great amount of success in turning Baltimore into a defensive powerhouse. He was fired as San Francisco's coach last year but for a couple of years he managed to pluck them from the dregs of the NFC where at one point they were thought to be a team that was a couple of years away. The Broncos will no doubt take a long look at their defensive personel as it has been said that Nolan will bring in a 3-4 defense. Denver's D line has been porous of late so change is iminent. As for free agents, if the Broncos bring in Albert Haynesworth I will be extremely happy, if they bring in Nnamdi Asomugha, I will shed tears.

Injury Report: - Pittsburgh v. San Diego

Phil Rivers: Probable ("Throws Like Girl"-Like Symptoms, Penguin-Foot Syndrome, T-Rex Arms)

LaDainian Tomlinson: Out (Bruised Ego, Swollen Head, Insane Jealousy)
Ben Roethlisberger: Probable (Head Through Windshield)
Troy Polamalu: Probable (Insane Rage, Intense Bloodlust, Man-Hate)

-PSon

NFL Year In Review

First off, I have to apologize for the extensive Man-Hiatus. Things were hectic for awhile. I don’t really want to go into a long explanation because that may be something for another post but in late October I (and one of the other contributors to this blog) suffered a disappointing end to something we put our heart and soul into for over 6 months (no, I’m not talking about the Rays World Series loss) and writing a sports blog wasn’t something I could deal with. Looking back, it may have been a great way to help myself get over it but since it’s something that still pains me, I’m thinking that might not be the case after all. Once I stopped, it was too hard to get back into it.

I have no idea who I think I’m writing this to but in the past month or so I have heard from friends and people who I never thought read this blog, basically asking why the blog disappeared like A Rod in a tight game. If one person thinks it’s funny, that’s enough for me. It seems like the NFL season came and went without a decent “Vagaries of Man-Love” take. So without further adieu, the 2008 NFL season in a nutshell.

• - Against all odds, Brett Favre led the Jets to a 3rd place finish in AFC East and no playoffs. His teammates fell all over each other trying to be the first one to throw him under the bus. This guy is out of a job for the time being. In a completely unrelated story, stock for Vicodin supplier Pharmas Inc. reached an all-time high.
• - Jay Cutler claimed his arm is better than Elway’s was. He also took credit for being the inspiration behind 19—classic, “Rookie of the Year."
• 
• - Larry Fitzgerald refused to reveal what is behind his superior hands, incredible ups, and unrivaled man-strength.
• - Pacman “allegedly” ordered a hit on a Las Vegas bouncer, some guy in Atlanta, and presumably Plexico Burress.
• 
• - Trent Dilfer screamed indiscriminately at America from inside their TV set. In a related story, ESPN filled their “mediocre NFL quarterback” quota that hadn’t been met since the departure of Sean Salisbury.
• 
• - Pipe down Tim Hasselbeck, I said “mediocre” not horribly inept.
• - Tom Jackson picked the Broncos to win every single week.
• - The Kansas City Chiefs’ coaching staff was implicated in a plot to make themselves relevant in the NFL playoff picture by teaching their players how to dive at the knees of quarterbacks but not how to catch a ball that hits them in the chest.
• - Brett Favre refused to throw a spiral.
• - Danny DeVito revealed himself to be the actor who played both the Penguin in Batman and also Phil Rivers in Saturday night’s playoff game against Indianapolis. Is that Phil Rivers or Byung-Hyun Kim?
  
• - Minnesota coach Brad Childress and Philadelphia coach Andy Reid make NFL history as the first head coaches that starred in the same television show to coach against each other in an NFL playoff game.
• - Philadelphia quarterback Donovan McNabb claims he didn’t know regular season games could end in a tie. Similarly, Dallas quarterback Tony Romo didn’t know the Dallas Cowboys could win a game past November.
• - Terrell Owens ran out of ways to disparage his quarterback. He already went with the gay blast on Jeff Garcia, the choker blast on Donovan McNabb, and the virgin blast on Steve Young.
• - Detroit Lions rookie running back Kevin Smith came through on his vow to make history.
• - What is Matt Leinart's greatest fear, Kurt Warner getting injured or the keg running out 5 minutes after midnight?

Finally, I would like to send a shout out to Cash for winning our inaugural Bravo Fantasy League, Blake (former Division 1 wideout) for winning my work league, and Tim for taking me out (with a 55 point performance from Antonio Bryant) in quarters en route to the championship in my Mamabird alum league. I lost in finals in the other two. Disappointing to not win any of them but at least I can hang my hat on the fact that the two I made the finals in were my big money leagues and I won enough to pay for a decent chunk of the new bed Anna and I just bought. So that’s a TV and a bed partially paid for with fantasy winnings. Sadly, when Rome talks about “fantasy guy,” he’s talking about me but at least I can say I got something out of it (aside from months of wasted time).

-PSon

This photo was snapped of me outside my house after hearing the news that the NYY signed Mark Teixeira. Thus far, this MLB free agent signing period has been all about Red Sox fans talking themselves into being happy about the huge NYY pick ups with more adept self-delusion than when speaking about moving Manny last year. Did CC pitch a million innings in the second half of last year, then break down in the playoffs? Sure. Has AJ Burnett spent time on the DL? Sure. Whatever. After all, there are only so many rubber armed Japanese pitchers who can't hit the strike zone (who you pay $50 million just to talk to (that's like paying a prostitute $200 bucks just to get in the room with you. After that, who knows what will happen?)). Believe me, I wish there were 100 more 40 year old pitchers who throw 70 mph fast balls and can literally give up a 500 footer at any moment. But there just aren't. So we have to settle for guys like CC who step into new club houses mid season and kill themselves to help teammates they just met win. Man, too bad.

This photo was snapped of Sox Fan upon hearing news of Teixeira signing.

I digress. When NYY signed Tex, Sox fans couldn't even do it anymore. They were counting on adding his huge bat to protect Ortiz in the middle of their line up, and his gold glove to protect Dustin Pedroia from the localized tremors at first base when the sox had forklift BIG Papi into a wheelbarrow and dump him at first.
I'm proud of the Yankees for continuing to add huge pieces until Sox fans just couldn't justify condescending to them about careless spending. And the best part? Their 2009 payroll is lower than 2008. Oh my god, they're going to be so good!

-Ram it Far