Clark Street Hooligans

It's always been known that Cubs fans are the biggest bitches in all of baseball-fandom. They're all showy $300 prada sunglasses, blackberries and empty threats about something indeterminent happening in the oft-lauded, wholly misunderstood "next year." They're soft. They wear expensive jeans. They prefer fake tits and bleached hair to... baseball (not that I blame them, considering the century of futility they've endured). They are an annoying, but eminently forgettable breed.

Well, it seems a new strain of Cubs fan has reared it's frosty-tipped head in the Chicagoland area. The Cubbie-Hooligan. This new breed of ultra-douchebag now roams in large packs at out-of-state ball parks and the parties of children looking for dissenting voices to gang up on and pummel into submission. Case in point. 

The story, in short. One kid in the parking lot of Miller Park throws a Red Bull can at a bus full of Cubs fans. 3 Cubs fans get out and pummel the kid, sending him to the hospital. Way to go Cubs fans. The kicker, 

"The 34 year old from Joliet was cited for assault and battery after police said he punched his sister, who was trying to break up the fight."

Wow.

This news story comes on the heels of another incident, mentioned at the end of the above story. That story in short: 3 Cubs fans (notice a theme) attack a White Sox fan at the birthday party of a 2 year old, KICKING HIM IN THE FACE until he loses an eyeball. Another trip to the hospital.

Wow.

What have we learned? 

It takes exactly 3 pussified Cubbie-Hooligans to beat up a teenage Brewers fan. 

And 3 Cubbie-Hooligans to take out one White Sox fan. Unfortunately that's roughly the ratio of Cubs fans to Sox fans in Chicago. 

Way to go Cubs fans, celebrate your team's success with public beatings and mob behavior. Acting like an individual has never been the strong point of most Cubs fans, but that was forgivable when limited to throwing garbage on the field and not watching baseball.

Unfortunately we can add mob behavior and assault and battery to the list of reasons to hate Cubs fans. I think it comes before the constant whining. And right after the constant date-rape.

-bb13

P.S. And yes, I know White Sox fans are known for being white-trash and attacking players on the field. Well, that was a long time ago and we've been a well-behaved lot since. Winning a World Series will help cool off a fan base. Something Cubs fans know nothing about.

P.P.S When was the last time a fan charged the field and attacked someone? Oh yeah, at Wrigley. Thanks and goodnight.