Like Melo needs more bling...

(We're gonna try a little experiment. This is VofML's first ever guest post. It's by a hustler from around the way, known only as "Redicks Nut Juice Cocktail". I don't know why he choose the name, frankly it makes me uncomfortable, but it's his life. Anyway, here we go.)

Team USA enters The Medal Round

First, if you haven’t been waking up early to watch Team USA rip through Olympic pool play, you’re not an American. In fact, you’re probably a terrorist.

So, in an effort to win hearts and minds, and distract you from your jihad, here are 5 Reasons Team USA Wins the Gold Medal.

1. Lebrobe Wade. As long as Lebron James, Kobe Bryant and Dwaywyayne Wade are patient and don’t force contested jump shots (as Kobe has done at times), these three are more untouchable than a Communist country trying to sneak 14 year old’s into the gymnastics competition in their own country.

(I didn’t want to call this next one “No Kirk Hinrich”, but …)
2. No Kirk Hinrich. Aside from the fact that Jason Kidd is suddenly about as mobile as George Muresan, our PG’s (Chris Paul and Deron Williams) have been magnificent. They never make bad decisions and either one can run the break flawlessly. Most important, both played big-time college basketball (which is really what International Basketball is ... just with better players and without deodorant). This means they know how to stay in front of people.

George Muresan might have a step on Jason Kidd these days. But from the looks of things, I’d say he’s got better things to do. Must be that cologne!

3. Zone Busting. In previous years, Team USA has gotten in trouble relying on jump shots against zone defenses. No more. This team treats zones like Charles Barkley treats margarine, slicing into it for hours until there’s nothing left. They are very methodical about getting GREAT shots, not just good ones.

4. A healthy dose of Pete Rose. The gambling nature of this team comes straight from Coach K. This type of overplaying defense is not played in the NBA. Ever. And a lot of these guys (Bron, Melo, Kobe) have never had to get in a stance, because they didn’t go to college. (Melo’s year of standing around in a 2-3 doesn’t count). Now they understand when to gamble, how to fight through screens, etc. Had Kobe gone to Duke as he says he would have, he might’ve been the best guard defender in college history. Yes, even better than Wojo.

5. They’ve got LEGS! This team doesn’t get tired, and there’s never a drop off when the 2nd unit checks in. In fact, Team USA has finished off most games with their 2nd quarter unit of Paul, Williams, Wade, Lebron and Bosh. Look for that lineup to continue to shit on people.

Update: Team USA sent the Aussies back to Prison Island this morning with a 116-85 whooping in the quarterfinals. DWill hit a big 3 at the halftime buzzer to make it a 12 point lead, and three’s by Kobe and Melo to open the 3rd quarter sparked a 14-0 run. Gametime. Next up: The winner of what should be a great game between Greece and Argentina.

-Redicks Nut-Juice Cocktail