Hop on the Pain-Train to Title Town!

Ummm, welcome to the team Ken Griffey, Jr? Today the White Sox made a bold... if largely puzzling splash by trading a middling minor league second baseman (Danny Richar) and perhaps the worst reliever ever (Nick "Magic" Massett) for the once mighty and formidable Junior. 

Junior has been an annual subject of trade rumors for the Sox since Kenny "Dark Ninja" Williams took over as GM. And finally, Kenny's man-crush/love-boner for Junior has come to fruition. But at the most unexpected of times. Why unexpected? Cuz where the hell is Junior gonna play?

The Sox are locked in at the corner OF. Q! and Dye aren't going anywhere, and both continue to rake. There is currently an abysmal black hole in Paul "Eeyore" Konerko at first base. We have a better first baseman in Nick Swisher, currently playing center. And Jim "Pretty Rabbit" Thome as our slugging, left handed DH.

Where does Griffey fit into all of this. If the year was 1997, I would be crapping my pants in excitement. Griffey slides in CF, Swish moves to 1B, and Konerko helps set-up and take down the post-game spread. But as everyone knows, Junior ain't "Junior!" any more. He definitely can't play CF effectively, or without getting hurt. So wtf?

I don't really doubt Kenny Williams. The man brought the first World Series title to Chicago in almost a century. And everyone shat all over him this offseason, when all he did was bring in the best bullpen in the AL (of all time according to Joe Morgan), sign the Cuban Missile Alexei Ramirez for chump change, and there is that other guy... what's his name... oh, QQQQQ!!!!!. All for a pittance. And now Kenny wants, Junior. Kenny can have Junior, and the best lefty pinch hitter in baseball coming off the bench. Or whatever. 

My prediction is that there is another trade coming. We need to make some space if Junior is going to have any value. We'll see how the afternoon pans out.

But that's that. Junior is on the White Sox. I for one am psyched to see him in his alternate blacks. And I'll be standing and cheering like a mofo when he passes that greaseball, roided pockmark on the history of baseball, Sammy Sosa, on the all-time HR list. That will be a sight to behold.

So welcome to Title Train U.S. Junior. Get us a couple clutch hits this year, and we'll reward you with some nice hardware for the mantle back at home. Just stay away from the nerve tonic, and everything's gonna be all right.

-bb13