Monday, July 28, 2008

Open Letter to Kevin Youkilis


Dear Kevin Youkilis,
I don't like your face. I like it even less when you open your mouth and give that squirrel a chance to get inside. But believe me, I'm rooting for him: "Go on! Get in there little buddy".

I hate the way you caress the bat with your right hand before the pitch comes. I hate you because the Red Sox fan who was yelled "Go ahead, win like that you fucking faggot" at me when the umpire called an inside strike on Mike Lowell in the 9th inning of Friday's game against the Yankees, likes you. I do, however, love that you haven't figured out that for every time you open your mouth and act tough, Joba is going to burn another patch of fur off your face. I love that you act like you don't want any part of it when talk to the media and tell them "hey, come on, someone's gonna get hurt", like you're not deathly afraid it will be you.

Sincerely,
Objective Baseball Fan

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